Their Singer
by SarahJayneFics
Summary: In Twilight, Edward told Bella that if her blood sang to James like it had to Edward, it would've meant a fight right there in the field. What if this was the case? Follow Bella as she is kidnapped and turned by James, as the Cullens fight to get her back
1. Chapter 1

_Bella_

Apprehensive. Scared. Impressed. Three different emotions that plagued my mind as I saw the three vampires approach our impromptu baseball field. Edward's posture shifted to block me from view as much as possible. As Carlisle made introductions, I began to feel a soothing sort of calm. I wasn't sure if it was courtesy of Jasper or not- even if it was, I welcomed it. This was working out alright. The two males and lone female seemed wary, but not threatening.

Then the wind shifted.

In an instant, everything changed. It was just like when the van almost hit me; I saw so many things at once happening at an insanely rapid speed. The light-haired male known as James sniffed the air, and his deep red irises were suddenly pinned on me. Edward stiffened, and crouched into a defensive posture in front of me. James crouched down, and with a fierce growl that was immediately echoed by Edward, lunged at me. He and Edward clashed together with the earsplitting sound of a rock slide.

I felt a wave of calm that seemed completely out of place- most certainly Jasper's work. I heard Carlisle's voice, trying to restore reason. I saw Alice and Emmett approach the cyclone that was James and Edward, ready to protect their brother. The other male, the dark-haired one, was retreating into the forest. I looked up, and saw a different pair of red eyes fixed on me. The female, Victoria, with the fiery red hair, was drawing closer to me. She tilted her head, confused, and seemed to be trying to figure out what my value was. Amidst the chaos around us, she smiled slowly and disappeared. I realized that she had run somewhere so fast that I could not see her go. I turned at the sound of her voice, which seemed to clearly sing out over all of the commotion.

"Human." She called, almost playfully. "Human. Look at all of this trouble you've caused." My stomach dropped even further as I saw who she had in her grasp. Esme, looking pained but resigned, as Victoria held her close with her teeth poised at the neck, ready to tear. Then I noticed Edward and James stop fighting for an instant. Edward had been distracted by the chaotic thoughts of his family's distress regarding the only mother he had ever really known. Carlisle and the others seemed afraid to approach, afraid that one false move would drive Victoria to tear Esme's head off. As he turned for a split second to watch Esme, James took advantage. He tore through the air and landed close enough for me to feel his breath. He wrapped an iron-strong arm around my waist and clasped another from under my arm to my shoulder. I stood, shocked and terrified, but in a way… relieved. James would kill me, but that would mean Esme didn't have to die. I was able to look at Edward before I died. I didn't have to feel afraid.

Edward's face as he took in James' stance with me was horrified. As he immediately started towards us, James tickled my neck with his poison-laced teeth. With an oath, Emmett and Rosalie held Edward back.

"Don't, Edward. He'll kill her." Emmett muttered.

Edward looked at me and James alternatively, then began snarling and snapping uncontrollably. Carlisle, who was still keeping one eye on Esme and Victoria, helped Rose and Emmett restrain him. I could see Carlisle staring at Edward, trying to communicate something. James tightened the arm around my waist and I felt a wave of nausea and confusion. Why hadn't he killed me yet? I could tell he wanted to. Every time he inhaled near my skin his body seemed to hum against mine.

"What do you want?" Carlisle asked James, clearly and severely.

"For her to choose." James said pleasantly, his voice rumbling against my back. I couldn't see his face, but it sounded like he was smiling.

"Choose?" Edward managed to say his first word since the initial attack. It seemed to be physically paining him not to reach for me. "Choose what? You're surrounded. There's no way you can escape unharmed."

I felt James chuckle darkly against me, "Not so sure about that. See, I'm putting the power here into Bella's hands, not yours or mine. She gets to choose where she goes. And who has to die for it."

_Oh no. No._

My eyes locked with Esme's, and she nodded to me. She was trying to tell me that it was alright, to choose to stay here and let Victoria have a good chance at killing her.

"Bella…" James shook me slightly. Edward snarled, his eyes wide, his lip curled, "Bella, tell me what you choose. Tell them you want to come with me, or tell them you want her to die. Tell them."

I choked as tears sprang to my eyes. I looked up at the family I had cursed by my presence. I looked at them all, one by one, absorbing their faces full of shock and pain. I looked at Edward last. He stopped snarling and looked dumbfounded at whatever he saw in my eyes.

"No." He breathed softly, "Bella, no. We can find a way, no one has to die, Bella, love, please…" His voice, raspy and low, pleaded with me. I knew what he wanted. But I wasn't about to let Esme die for me.

"I'll go with you." My voice was so soft that I didn't think anyone would hear it. But James tightened his arms and I felt his lips at my ear, "Good girl." Edward shouted and cursed, as he began lunging for us again. Rosalie and Emmett held him back, each looking at me with horror… and respect. Jasper looked absolutely livid, Carlisle looked pained. Alice was staring at me with her eyes wide and her mouth grim.

"Edward… I'm sorry. I can't let her die for me, even if it's all a trick. I can't risk hurting any of you. I-I can't." Fresh tears tracked down my face as I spoke what I thought to be my last words to him, "I love you more than anything, Edward Cullen."

Edward, moaning and keening, heaved against Rose and Emmett to try to get to me. The last thing I saw of him was his face- twisted with rage and pain, anger and sorrow. Faster than I could think, James took me in his arms and ran into the forest, holding me close to his chest. I closed my eyes.

_Edward_

In such a short time, the point of my existence had gone. Gone into the forest, gone with him, gone where my brothers and sisters would not let me follow. As soon as James bounded into the woods with Bella, I renewed my struggles to follow. My mind flashed and sputtered with images. Bella's terrified face, her brown eyes and her tears, her whispered vow of love. James' cocky expression, the disturbingly possessive thoughts running through his head.

"Let me GO!" I raged at my family. Soon, Alice had to come over to help the others in restraining me.

"Edward, you're too emotional, too volatile to go after them." Carlisle admonished. He turned to Emmett and Rosalie. "Go." He said, and they nodded, leaping into the forest where Bella had gone.

"Isn't this interesting." Victoria purred. I turned to her and saw red. I broke free of my sibling's hold and lunged for her. She laughed, tossing Esme twenty feet into the air before turning to face me in a relaxed stance. I tackled her, pinned her to the ground and began to beat her. She offered no resistance as my hard fists pummeled her. With a resounding crack, her jaw was broken. With a sickening pop, I ripped her arm off. She grimaced and keened in pain, but then started chuckling at me again.

Carlisle reached me then, holding me off.

"Where has he taken her?" He demanded. Victoria was grimacing on the forest floor. She looked up at Carlisle and spat.

"You do know she's lost forever, right? She sang to him." She stated simply, leaning back all of the sudden, "She sang to him, and he took her to be his."

"No!" I growled, reaching for her again, but Carlisle again thwarted me.

"What do you mean lost? What does he plan to do?"

"Hell if I know. Maybe just drain her dry. Maybe play with her a bit. All I know is he had to have her…" She trailed off, looking impossibly smug and pleased with herself despite her physical condition.

"Please." Esme approached, trying to reason with her, "Please. Bella is very important to us."

Victoria heaved a rattling laugh, "And James is everything to me. I love him. He wants her now. I got her for him." She looked me in the eye, "I got her for him."

Disgusted, I turned away from her. My eyes met Alice's. I immediately read her thoughts, the thoughts that I had been ignoring in my present turmoil.

_Bella, alone. Scared. Burning, twitching, writhing. James laying next to Bella. James kissing Bella. James biting Bella._

I roared so loud that the trees shook before collapsing onto the ground. I rolled for a moment, the visions now assaulting me from Alice's mind.

_Bella screaming. James laughing. Bella's eyes… crimson eyes._

I got up as quickly as I had fallen and tore through the trees. Alice ran after me. "Edward." She called as we ran. I could run faster, but she was keeping up fairly well. "Edward! I don't think…"

"What, Alice? She sacrificed herself, and what, you don't want me to save her? To keep her from being terrorized, being turned?"

"Of course not, I love her too. It's just…" Her voice wavered, and I suddenly stopped running to look at her.

"Just what, Alice? If I'm going to follow her scent, I'll need to go NOW." I snarled, urging her to hurry up and get to the point.

"That's just it. Rose and Emmett… Edward, they lost the trail, they lost her scent at the road. They're on the their way back now. He… He took her on the road. I can't see where, I can only see a dark room. They could be anywhere, Edward. I'm so sorry. We'll get her back, I just don't think it will be today."

I paused before sitting down in the leaves. Ripping the roots of an unfortunate tree up from the Earth, I dug my hands into the dirt and screamed.

_Bella, Bella, I'm so sorry, my Bella._

Chapter End Notes:

I know, it's an extreme assumption to go with the POV that if Esme had been cornered or held by Victoria, then Esme would have fought or resisted. However for the purpose of the story, I'm assuming Victoria got just the right jump on poor Esme.


	2. Chapter 2

_James_

"So sorry…" I read the name off his driver's license, "Thomas Parsons. But thanks for the ride. And hey, organ donor sticker." I smiled, "Good for you." I tossed the card next to the lifeless corpse. His eyes were still wide open in surprise. I had flagged him down. Told him that my girlfriend had fainted while hiking, before I ripped his throat out. Of course I had the sense to give Bella a swift knock in the head beforehand. I couldn't trust her to act unconscious.

And she was much more pleasant when she wasn't whimpering.

The run from the forest had been interesting, to say the least. She had been quiet at first. Almost disturbingly so. If I hadn't been able to hear her heartbeat, I would have thought she was dead. Her eyes closed and her head lolled with whatever direction I went. I recognized her actions.

She had given up.

I had slowed my pace, intrigued. She had given up her chance at life when she had chosen to leave with me. Why? I knew she had to have some sort of connection, some relationship with the vampire family. Family… my lip curled in distaste at the word. Family was something we weren't allowed to have. Connections, passions, and relationships, maybe. But family? Stability? It was laughable. Their eyes alone informed me of what they were: weak. Afraid to embrace their true nature. Socializing with the food!

But I had learned my lesson when her scent assaulted me. Oh, I wanted her, it was undeniable. Her blood was amazing. I could hear it pumping, thriving, singing, waiting for me. It was unlike any desire I had ever felt- for a woman, for prey, for anything. I immediately knew that I had to have her, despite the angry rival guarding her. Thankfully, Victoria recognized my need, and sacrificed herself so that I have it. What "have" meant exactly, I wasn't sure. Initially I just wanted to drain her. Drink the blood that enchanted me, and move on. But when I saw the entire clan so opposed to her departure, I knew there had to be something special about her. The way she didn't hesitate in choosing to save the female vampire. The clan didn't just value her- she valued the clan. Particularly the angry male, Edward.

My lips twitched in amusement. He had been so angry. I almost wished it had been more difficult to steal her. I savored the hunt. Shortly before we had reached the road, she had begun to whimper, keeping her eyes closed but emitting the painful submissive sound. I had endured it for a while, ultimately before knocking her out. Out of necessity, of course. Suffering is usually something I don't shy away from.

Abruptly returning my thoughts to the present, I sighed and bid Mr. Parsons' corpse adieu. I observed the vehicle he had to offer me with a sigh. A beige soccer-Dad minivan. Well, it could be worse. I paid more attention to the girl laying across the front passenger seat. Her features were pretty, I decided. Maybe even beautiful. I had to keep her alive, at least until I decided what to do with her. My mind was bouncing back and forth. I could enjoy the kill, enjoy her siren blood; however, that relief would be temporary, instantaneous. I was contemplating the discipline necessary to make her truly mine. Make her immortal, my mate, my counterpart. I wasn't sure I had the will to stop draining her once I bit, her sweet blood making its way down my parched and eager throat.

It would be a fascinating experiment.

I was not sure where I was going, or why. But I knew one undeniable fact: She was coming with me, and she belonged with me, whatever the result.


	3. Chapter 3

_Bella_

As I opened my eyes, my senses kicked in. I was someplace very dark. I could barely make out the thick curtains to my right that allowed a mere sliver of light to shine in. The back of my head ached and throbbed. My feet and hands felt heavy. I was lying on something soft. And there was a vampire, perched on a dresser directly to the left of the bed I laid on, watching me with a curious expression.

He regarded me before a small smile appeared on his face. "Hello", he said in a friendly, conversational manner. I gasped, memories forefront in my mind: they arrived, the girl had Esme, I let James take me. The sight of Edward's face floated in my mind, and it was like a punch in the gut. He had looked so wildly distraught. And now, here I was, with this strange vampire who had taken me… somewhere. And I was still breathing.

"Forgive the less than stellar accommodations. Can't risk having your little psychic friend coming to your rescue with any specific information." He paused, "The less you know, the better. The less I know, the better, come to think of it. That's quite a gift she has." He shook his head in what looked like begrudging admiration.

I was stunned by his casual conduct towards me. I had so many questions, but I didn't know what was safe to say and what wasn't. Or if anything was safe. I was in a room, with a vampire… the non-vegetarian variety. And I was alive. I gasped and almost let loose a hysterical giggle. I could feel my heartbeat speeding up, the panic and desperation set in. He hadn't killed me yet. I could get away. To Edward. I just needed an opportunity. Here I physically winced. If anyone was capable of a stealthy escape from a dangerous bloodthirsty beast, it was not me. I would trip or bring unholy injuries upon myself before I even reached the door knob.

I felt eyes on me and looked up, immediately wishing I hadn't. He was looking at me. Looking through me. I couldn't look away. He had a small, pleasant smile on his face, but there was something in his eyes. I couldn't place it, but it was fiercely unfamiliar, and that made it terrifying. When Edward looked at me, even in his most unguarded moments, there was reverence and desire. He kept it restrained, though. He at least tried to mask it, to keep himself somewhat under control. The male… James, my mind flinched at the name, had no such restraint. His eyes. They were startlingly different from the Cullens'. I had grown to adore the topaz tint of their eyes. James' eyes were impossible to look away from. Blue with a thin, starkly contrasted circle of red just around the pupil. I couldn't help but observe him. He was handsome, just like the rest of them. But where Edward was beautiful and strong, James looked handsome and wiry. And older… he had to have been in his twenties when he was changed.

James interrupted my perusal with a wink. I blushed angrily and sputtered, indignant and scared stiff. What, he couldn't get the job done in the woods? He had to kill me further from Edward, where he wouldn't be interrupted? Fine, I got that. But to wait for me to wake up instead of doing it while I was blissfully unconscious... it seemed so cruel, so vicious. I felt intense jolts of fear tingle in my toes and fingers, then travel up and across my veins before concentrating under my heart. I tried to calm myself. I had to die, and that… well, it sucked. Especially now that my life had just been getting interesting. Especially now that I had found…

I shook my head, refusing to think of him. He was safe, his family was safe. That was what mattered. As I tried to soothe my fluttering heart, James again tried to lure me into conversation, still sitting a good three feet away from where I sat up on the bed.

"You must have questions." He said, swinging his feet in a relaxed manner. He flashed me his white teeth, although I bizarrely didn't find that action intimidating. He seemed to be trying to put me at ease. Which meant he'd probably jump me after I had calmed down and proceed to torture me for hours. Woo.

I decided that I might as well not prolong the inevitable. So many questions were in my mind. Why he had done this, where we were, that he had honored the deal and Esme was fine, what was going to happen to me… instead, I blurted out the most inconsequential and stupid one that crossed my mind, "How did you know Alice's power?"

He seemed taken aback that I had finally spoken. He tilted his head, looking confused for a moment before regarding me with a pensive expression, "That's what she calls herself? Interesting. I had the privilege of meeting her when she was human. She had that gift then, so I assumed it was still, ah…" He struggled to find an adequate word, his smile returning, "… Intact. She had visions of the future. Quite a useful gift, but I was more interested in her scent. It was quite appealing at the time. But, we lost touch." He finished, raising his eyebrows playfully. I stiffened. His answer seemed honest. He didn't seem angry at me for asking questions. I took the chance and asked him honestly, "Why? Why me? I know I'm a human, but Alice said you guys weren't… thirsty."

He leaned forward with a grin, as if he had been waiting for me to ask exactly that. "Excellent question, Bella… may I call you Bella?" He politely waited for a nod or assent, but I simply furrowed my brow, "Bella it is, then. To keep it short, your blood sang to me. I immediately knew I had to have it, regardless of the consequences." He chuckled, "Regardless of what risk I took. It wasn't a matter of maliciousness, or a lack of self-control. I've only read or heard legends about the way your blood called to me. I thought it had been a myth, a folk tale. I never imagined I would… need you this way."

I nodded, resigned. It sounded as if my blood was lucky enough to sing to two vampires. Lovely. Just my luck. He looked at me, intrigued as he asked, "Have you heard of this phenomenon before, Bella?"

I hesitated before deciding to come clean. It could only hurt me, anyway. No one else. "Edward. My boyfriend. He, uh, initially felt… that. But he learned to suppress it." I stopped, marveling at the fact that I was having a vampiric legend discussion with my soon to be murderer, current kidnapper.

James' eyes lit up, gleaming more cerulean blue than before. "Really?" He sounded amused and somewhat surprised, "Fascinating. Two of a kind." He seemed to think to himself for a moment before shaking his head, another smile tugging at his lips, "What was he planning for you, Bella? If he was your… _boyfriend…_" The mocking fashion in which he said it had me flushing in anger, and the past tense caused a sudden stab of pain, "Then what plans did you two have? For him to forgo his nature? Live out your human lifespan?" He was almost chuckling now.

I bit my lip to keep from crying. He looked at me, a smug satisfied look on his face, "That was the plan, wasn't it? He was going to let you fade, flicker, and die without either of you reaping any benefits."

I was beginning to shake with anger. I longed to lash out at him. I knew it was stupid, I knew it was wrong, but it didn't matter. Maybe it would provoke him into actually ending this. I leaped off the bed, my right fist sailing towards his perfect face. As quickly as I had tried, he grabbed my hand in a stone grasp with one hand. In one fluid motion, he drew my waist flush to his. He looked down at me, no longer smiling, as I gasped in pain at the pressure he was exerting on my hand. He let his cold lips drift along my cheek and I could feel him draw a deep breath, inhaling my scent. My heart began to beat in double-time, and I closed my eyes. This was it. I hadn't even had a chance.

"Bella…" My name sounded sinful on his lips. The way he said it made me want to slap him again. He breathed it like a lover's caress, a familiar and endearing greeting. It made me nauseous, and I struggled to turn my face away from him. He roughly took the hand that had been holding my hand and grasped my chin, forcing me to face him. I childishly closed my eyes. Call me a coward, but I didn't want to see death coming.

"Bella… this doesn't have to be the end." My eyes opened of their own volition at his soft-spoken declaration. My mind whirred with all the possibilities- did he want to bargain with the Cullens?

"Are you going to trade me?" I blurted out. My face was still only an inch or so from his, and he had not relinquished the tight grip on my waist.

He rose one lone eyebrow, "Trade you?"

"For Victoria. She's your girlfriend right? She got left behind." I was grasping at straws now. Any chance for me to escape was sounding like the right plan.

He laughed in my face, "Victoria is loyal. She could sense what I wanted, and she did what she had to do for me to get it." He looked off to the side for a moment, smiling in fondness before returning his gaze to me, "She knew the consequences when she threatened your female. She knew. She did it anyway."

"Why?" I managed to choke out as I fought to keep tears from falling. This was not only illogical, it was just stupid. How could this female who was in a relationship with James sacrifice herself so he could kidnap another female? It seemed far-fetched and ridiculous.

"Because she loves me." He answered slowly, as if that much should have been obvious.

Anger boiled and writhed within me, "Well then, you sure aren't showing her any love in return, leaving her behind like that."

He shrugged and smiled a wolfish grin, "I see what you're trying to do. And while I find your concern for my now ex very… touching," Here he raised his fingertips from my chin to tuck a stray brunette strand behind my ear. I swallowed heavily, "… It doesn't matter anymore. I never loved Victoria. She knew that. It didn't stop the way she felt."

I scoffed and bristled before the inevitable tears began tracking down my cheeks. I blushed in revulsion and shame. I was going to die here, and nothing I could say would save me. I looked up as James wiped a tear from my cheek, his expression contemplative.

"Why the crying, little human Bella," He teased, "Are you crying for yourself, your vampires, or your real family?"

I shuddered in pain and felt like I was going to pass out. Charlie. Renee. Oh God. How had I forgotten them? What it would do when I disappeared? Didn't come home? Charlie will search, Charlie will… blame the Cullens. I hadn't even thought of that. Charlie knew who I had left with. He would blame Edward and the Cullens before even investigating anything else. They'd have to run and hide. I blanched at all of the damage that was caused.

James intuitively nodded, which drew my furious eyes back to his face. He said slowly, "Your family will blame the Cullens, I suppose?" I nodded, looking down again as my eyes began leaking even more useless tears. He looked at me and I felt as if he were judging me when he said, "How about this. I am going to kill you Bella, make no mistake. But if you agree to one condition before that, I will make it so the Cullens have no reason to flee Forks. Your family would receive as much closure as possible."

My eyes widened, "How? What?"

He gave me a small grin, "No how, no what. Just agree, and I'll make it happen. As long as you keep your end of the bargain, that is." He drawled, running the hand that held my waist slowly up the small of my back before allowing his cold fingertips to graze the skin just beneath my shirt. I knew it was risky, and I knew I had no leverage. But I had to try.

"Yes." I breathed softly, resignation in my tone. He nodded as if he expected this and slowly edged me back towards the bed. I laid down, and he smiled approvingly before getting out a small, silver cell phone. My heart beat increased in tempo when I saw it- I could call Edward if I managed to steal it- but he gave me a dark look that silenced that thought. As I laid on the bed he spoke in a low voice very quickly. I couldn't understand the words at all. They seemed to not pause at all, as if he was doing all of the talking. Maybe even the pauses were too short for my ears to pick up. It reminded me of the way I had seen Edward and his family talking in the lunch room before I knew what they were. He hung up then and turned to me, his face blank.

"It's done. Your vampires will escape suspicion." He said in a casual way. I wanted to ask him how, but I couldn't find my voice to speak. Hopefully he was telling the truth and had done something. I had to lie to myself, it was the only way to keep my tears from escalating into a full-out sob session, "Now, Bella. Let me tell you what I want before that heart of yours stops beating." He climbed up the bed towards me, sinuously and seductively. I shrank against the headboard, but he climbed on top of me, pinning me with his body.

"Let me tell you what I want to happen, Bella. I did you a favor just now, whether you believe it or not. Now I want you to do just one thing for me. Kiss me." I looked at him as if he'd just proposed that I fly to the moon. He smiled patiently before leaning his head down to the crook between my neck and shoulder. He whispered, "You kiss _me_. Like you mean it." I had to repress a shudder. If I didn't do it, he might take back whatever he'd done to help the Cullens… If he had done anything. I was miserable. I hadn't ever kissed anyone except Edward. I hadn't wanted to kiss anyone before him, and I didn't want to kiss James.

I took a breath, what I thought to be my final one, before steeling my nerves. I looked directly into his tense eyes and slowly leaned in. "Like you mean it, Bella." He whispered as I drew closer, "Or else we may have to reconsider the deal." He spoke the last word against my lips. I closed my eyes and pressed my tear-stained lips against his. Joy and ecstasy battled shame and grotesque hatred for myself. On one hand, my body rejoiced at the cold kiss, so similar to Edward's lips which had made me faint. On the other, my mind knew the difference. As I began to lightly suck his bottom lip, he groaned and opened his mouth. Before I knew it our tongues were battling, entwining. He was so carefree and reckless- Edward would never have risked kissing me this way. His hands skimmed down my arms and around my waist, pulling me even closer. I tried to channel all of my rage and frustration into the kiss. When it became clear I had to stop to breathe I broke away, gasping over his shoulder. He moved to my neck, laving it with passionate kisses. I froze.

_This is it. Edward, I love you._

I felt a sharp pain at first. My neck felt as if I had a cramp, had twisted it the wrong way. Then the pain turned dull and began to pulsate. I looked down without moving my head and he was growling, red rivulets from my neck spilling into and around his neck. I couldn't look anymore, I couldn't fight. I looked up at the invisible ceiling, in this small dark room where I would die.

With a gasp, he pulled away from me. My blood was on his lips. I must have looked as shocked as he did. He was breathing heavily, staring at me in lust and accomplishment. I was confused. I looked down to the wound on my neck; despite the pain, it was not trickling blood. The red mark looked relatively shallow. I looked at James in hurt and confusion.

The burning started soon after.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Laurent**_

After fleeing the meadow, I began running back through the woods, back towards Seattle. It had been a mistake to seek out this clan. I wish we had never done it. I had never had the strength to form my own coven. It had been so easy to fall in with James and Victoria. I admired them, but that did not mean I would die for them. How could James be so foolish? To jump for the human girl in front of her vampire protectors? We were vastly outnumbered. That didn't stop Victoria from trying to help, but I would not. I refused. Too dangerous and too stupid. James had never behaved so irrationally before. He was a hunter first and foremost, and while his passion was ever present, he had never allowed it to rule him before today.

After checking to make sure no other vampires were pursuing me, I cursed and thought about my options. I could only pray that James and Victoria had been destroyed. If either one found me after I abandoned them… A shiver ran up my spine at the thought. I had no qualms with killing humans. I did not, however, see the value in prolonging their suffering. They are inferior beings, yes, but that doesn't mean they should suffer. James and Victoria had always savored the pain of the kill more than I ever could. I knew if they were free to come after me I would be severely punished for my cowardice. James was the best tracker I had ever seen. If he wanted to find me, he would have by now.

I checked my phone. It had been an hour and a half since I had fled. I anxiously wondered what had happened. I had already made it to Seattle and was sitting in a crowded café. I suppose it was the human in me that sought out public places when danger was present. The thought was laughable now- if James wanted to kill me, he would probably prefer the audience to witness it.

My phone buzzed on the table top.

I groaned and checked the number. It was James' phone. I contemplated not answering. Maybe James wasn't alive. If he had been captured or destroyed, the vegan vampires would have his phone, wouldn't they? Perhaps they wanted to investigate something, anything? I was grasping at straws and I knew it. Taking a deep and unnecessary breath (human habits are endearingly difficult to shake), I answered. Before I even spoke, I heard him.

"Laurent." He sounded calm and smooth just like always. Meaning he was fine. Meaning I was fucked. I licked my dry lips before answering.

"James." I paused, wondering what to say. If he wanted me dead, he would be here right now.

"Don't worry, Laurent, I've decided not to hunt you… yet." His voice held the hint of a smile, "Although, tsk tsk my friend, I expected better."

"I apologize, I was-"

"Afraid." James hissed the word, disgusted. I opened my mouth once more, and promptly shut it.

"I'm not one for lengthy semantics, Laurent. I need you to do something for me. A favor. If you do it successfully, I won't kill you." How generous. I rubbed my hand over my face in irritation.

"What is it?" I asked, ready for a trick. I half expected James to sit next to me at the table in the next few seconds. Lulling victims into a false sense of security was one of his favorite past times. I just never thought that I would be on the receiving end.

Guessing my train of thought, he chuckled darkly, "Don't worry, Laurent, I'm not near you. I am hiding with the girl."

My curiosity got the better of me, "Where?"

"_None _of your concern." He hissed darkly, "Now, follow these directions. I'll know if you don't. Find two humans. From Forks. I don't care how young or old. Kill the weakest one in the woods. Tell the other one to immediately run home, call the police and say a bear attacked the friend. Make sure he or she knows you know where they live as incentive. Have them say they ran into Bella in the woods before anything happened. She seemed dazed, disoriented, and said she had gotten lost from the Cullens, wandered off. Then the bear entered the scene, killed both the human's companion and Bella. The surviving human MUST say that Bella was killed before being dragged off by the bear. Leave the other corpse for the police to find. Make sure to maul it, rough it up, you know the deal."

I gulped. Not only did I have to run back to Forks and complete this assignment, but… I allowed myself to speak my thoughts, "What assurance do I have that I won't be killed after I do this?"

James quickly responded, "I have no time for debating, Laurent. You know I could find you in the next thirty minutes and snap you apart like a twig. I wish I could, but I am…" He trailed off, "Currently preoccupied. After you complete this task, you are to go to the Cullen's house and notify them of what you've done."

"What?!" I growled despite my surroundings. A woman at a neighboring table looked concerned. Rolling my eyes, I got up and began walking down the street, "Do your bidding and then give myself over to the Cullens? Are you insane? They'll flay me alive!"

"I have no assurance of that, Laurent. But the Cullens need to know what you've done. They need to know that they are blameless. Do you understand? It is up to you how you deliver the news, but you must do it. Personally. Call me from the Cullens and have me speak with one of them to assure me that you've completed your task. Then your debt to me is paid." He spoke, fast and determined. With a sinking heart, I knew I had no other choice.

"Fine." I said before angrily flipping the phone shut. I growled before taking off into the woods, towards Forks. I had no idea what James was doing. Protecting his enemy. He should be glad if the other clan is blamed. As I tore through the forest, my thoughts drifted to the girl. Bella. Was she the reason for this impromptu protection of the family which may very likely tear me limb from limb on sight? I could only hope that they would take mercy.

_**Esme**_

Chaos reigned within my once calm home. Alice, Edward and Jasper were all arguing heatedly regarding how to find and save Bella. Emmett and Rosalie were taunting and torturing the tied-up female who had cornered me. Carlisle was sitting alone, his head in his hands. I went to sit by him and gently placed my hand atop his. He looked up, his grief and horror mirrored in my eyes. We were all torn up over Bella's departure, Edward most of all. He had only returned to the house reluctantly. He was bombarding Alice with questions she didn't know the answer to. I winced as I heard their yells from the kitchen,

"I don't CARE what you SAW. Tell me what you SEE NOW!" Edward yelled, his voice shaking the walls, "I need to know WHERE she is Alice! What good are your visions if you can't tell me that?!"

"I WOULD if I HAD any to SHARE, Edward!" Alice screamed, frustrated. I walked into the room. She was twitching with anger. Jasper placed a soothing hand on her back that she quickly shrugged off, "I told you. She's in the dark. He's with her. He was on the phone for a bit. I can't… I can't see where they are. They can't be too far, it's only been over an hour!"

"But she's HURTING!" Edward seethed, malice in his voice, "She's HURTING Alice! I need to get to her; I need to save her from him!"

Jasper was intently trying to send waves of calm throughout the house. Edward and Alice stopped yelling, but they still looked at each other with murder in their eyes.

"Edward." I said softly. He glared at me, "Edward, I know you're… I don't know how you could feel. But remember, we all care about Bella. Alice is doing the best she can. It will all work out, it has to."

He shook his head, "You can't possibly know that. I need to get out of here. I don't care if I lost her scent, I'll find it again. I need to GET to her, before…" He choked before dry sobs wracked his body. Alice, Jasper and I all exchanged glances. We knew what Alice had seen in the woods. Bella becoming a vampire. I hated to think it, but I was almost relieved. At least she wouldn't be killed. She could return to us…

Edward unleashed a growl at me, and I immediately realized he had heard my thoughts. Jasper stepped in between us.

"Edward, we all know you're in pain. We're doing everything we can to get Bella back. But in the meantime, you need to realize, we're not the enemy."

"That's right." Emmett spoke up, his voice booming by the stairway, "We're not. She is." He carelessly kicked the captive female's side. She whimpered, but said nothing. She lay curled in the corner, her red hair hiding her face. Rose paused to spit on her before coming towards the group.

"Enough." Carlisle said, the authority apparent in his voice. Rose rolled her eyes before retreating with Emmett to where the rest of us stood. Carlisle harshly righted the female, Victoria, so that she was sitting up. She was not a pretty sight. Her jaw sagged where Edward had broken it. Her nostrils were lopsided from the beating, and one of her eyes was sagging. Her detached arm was in a cardboard box, twitching. Her other arm jutted in an odd, broken angle. Despite what she had done, I agreed with Carlisle. She had suffered enough.

"Tell us what you know." Carlisle said firmly, "And we'll end your suffering." I knew it was an empty threat. He would end it regardless eventually. He had too much compassion to let any being, even a repulsive one, suffer for too long.

Victoria let loose an almost hysterical giggle, "What do I know? Nothing." She mumbled, her head tipping to the side, wavering back and forth in her weakness, "He has her. You don't." Her eyes found Edward's before she raised an eyebrow, "Get over it." I winced as Edward started towards her with a fierce growl. She laughed when he lifted her as if she weighed no more than a rag doll. She let out a moan of pain as he shook her shoulders violently. She leaned in towards Edward, "I'm sure he'll enjoy how she tastes."

Edward, his mouth in a firm line, maintained, "He's not going to bite her. He will NEVER know the taste of her blood. I don't care what she says." He inclined his head towards Alice, who looked stricken and furious. I looked at her, trying to convey my sympathy and ask for her understanding. Edward was just in denial of the visions and taking his rage out on their vessel. She nodded slightly before leaning into Jasper, who wound his arms around her as he and everyone else watched the exchange between Edward and Victoria.

She coughed before continuing, "I'm sure he has bitten her already, Casanova. But I was referring to how he'll enjoy another sort of taste." She grinned maniacally as Edward keened a feral scream in pain. It didn't help that I, as well as my other family members, most likely imagined what she meant by that.

_Bella in James' arms, locked in a heated passion. Long, wet, passionate kisses. Naked skin pressed together. Moans, hands clasping tightly… _

Edward, bombarded by his own imagination as well as ours, lowered Victoria down. She looked surprised for a moment. He paused momentarily before savagely ripping through her neck with his bare teeth. She screamed, high and clear. He kept ripping and tearing until her head rolled across the hallway. Breathing heavily, Edward turned to faced us. Jasper and Emmett wordlessly collected the head, as well as Victoria's stray arm and body. They walked out the door to dispose of it.

"I hate to be the one to mention this." Rosalie murmured to Carlisle. We all, Edward included, turned to listen. She looked intimidated for a moment before staring us all down, particularly Edward, "Like I said, I hate to say it, but don't we need to think about leaving? Her dad knew she was with us. Eventually he's coming here. We need to go."

Edward blanched and bared his teeth at Rose, "How can you say that? You're worried about _us_? You selfish bitch."

Rosalie raised her head high, "Edward, if we're going to save Bella, we need to not be in a human prison. Or preferably under human law enforcement investigation!" She looked to us for support before glaring back at him, "We can look for her from some other place. But we cannot endanger the family. That's the last thing Bella would want."

Edward backed down then, seeming ashamed. My heart ached for him as I heard him mumble an apology to us all before wiping Victoria's blood from his face with his shirt.

"We'll find her, Edward." Carlisle promised, laying a soothing hand on his shoulder, "We just need to take care of some details."

"Already done." An unfamiliar voice spoke from the doorway that Emmett and Jasper had exited. We all crouched in surprise. We had been so involved in the conversation and our own mental turmoil that no one had heard him approach. Edward snapped his teeth at the new arrival. The other vampire. The one who had run away.

He had fresh human blood dripping from his lips.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Rosalie**_

I honestly could not believe how much everything had changed in such a short span of time. I felt as if my emotions were going haywire. It was no secret that I had disliked the girl. She evoked those feelings in Edward that I had failed to in the past, and she was _human_! She had all the chances and opportunities to be normal, to have babies, to age and die gracefully. All of the opportunities that had been robbed from me, she seemed more than willing to give up.

Pangs of guilt and regret bubbled over in my gut. I felt as if I would drown in them. The girl… Bella… she had surpassed my wildest expectations. I was certain that she would not give into James' ultimatum. I thought she would spare no thought for Esme or the trouble she caused our family. She would whimper a little, or make us think it was a difficult decision, but she would choose herself over Esme. In all of my years, both alive and undead, I never received a shock like I had when she said she'd go with James. Before she went she had looked at each of us, one by one, as if trying to memorize our faces. I can't imagine what my face looked like. It was the last image I had of her. Looking into my eyes, with no blame or anger despite how I had treated her. When she announced her departure and Jazz and I had to hold Edward back, I was put to shame. I had misjudged this girl. I had let petty jealousy and pride keep me from getting to know her. And now she was irrevocably gone.

I had never seen my brother like this. In all the years Edward and I lived together, I had never seen such grief from him. To be honest, I had thought him to be incapable of it. He always seemed so detached, so serene. I had never imagined that anything would cause him to become so hysterical. I watched as he destroyed the female, Victoria. Good riddance. I knew Carlisle and Esme probably felt as if she didn't deserve our torture, but I had savored it. I took my frustration with myself out on her. My selfish little qualms had caused me to shun a genuinely sweet and sacrificing girl. I took this personal pain of my own and allowed myself to try to empathize with Edward. If Emmett had been taken from me… I couldn't allow myself to even think of it. Just imagining made my heart sink and my fists clench.

So, it was more than easy to find the motivation to beat the conniving little bitch.

I knew Edward would be angry with me when I mentioned the cops and our need to flee, but it was necessary. His insult had particularly stung, but I forgave him for it since it turned out to be unquestionably true. I already knew I was a bitch, this was nothing new. But I had not known till the moment of Bella's departure how selfish I had been in denying her my friendship. Though Edward meant his insult in a slightly different fashion, I took it. I deserved it.

As he apologized, my heart went out to my brother. I swore then and there that I would move heaven and Earth to find Bella, to bring her back to the family. What motivation I had been lacking before was completely present and accounted for now. I understood what my family had seen in Bella. I would help them find her, get her back. Restore her to her right place, by my brother's side and in my family. I barely heard what Carlisle was saying to Edward before my entire family looked towards the door.

My teeth gnashed slightly in rage. The coward had returned. I saw his hesitance. He ignored Edward's growl and the defensive postures of my family. I saw him flinch as Emmett and Jasper returned, the smell of burnt cold flesh swirling around them. The male, Laurent, was completely surrounded. No one spoke a word as he explained himself.

I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes as he began his self-pitying tale. Poor little vampire, too cowardly to stay with his own coven and now seeking mercy from the one who had just been robbed? It was unbelievable. I listened to his narrative with great interest. So James had provided an explanation to keep us out of harm's way? The idea seemed ludicrous. I heard Alice gasp when Laurent flippantly gave the name of the child he had attacked- Angela. I vaguely knew of her from the local high school. Now her blood was unceremoniously dripping from Laurent's teeth. I shot a glance over at Jasper. His disgust for Laurent seemed to overrule the blood lust that the scent inspired.

"I found them coming back from a hike. The girl's death was painless, very quick, I assure you. I explained to the boy-"

"Ben." Alice said, her voice heavy and morose, "His name is Ben." She rubbed her temples and I could guess that she was upset she hadn't seen this. It must have been a quick decision on James and Laurent's part.

Laurent hesitated, most likely hoping that Ben was not yet another Cullen family pet, "Right. Well I told him the story, as James instructed. He was terrified, of course, but agreed to tell it so long as I let him live. He ran off to tell his parents and call the police, and I left the girl's body behind. Unless I have severely misjudged the boy, he will not deviate from the plan. You and your family will be safe." He took a deep breath before lowering his eyes to the floor. The family was silent.

"Oh." Alice said, her eyes going out of focus. Jasper held her hand as a vision came through. Edward seemed to jump, anxiously, hoping for a vision of Bella. He scowled as he read Alice's mind.

"He will follow directions. Charlie will believe it. He'll search for… over a month before he gives up." Edward's voice choked up once again. I looked at Alice questioningly. She frowned, mouthing "funeral". I nodded. She had seen Bella's funeral.

Laurent gave a relieved sigh before reaching into his jacket pocket. Once again, we all turned (almost in unison) and snarled in warning. Only Carlisle and Esme remained calm and somber. He slowly withdrew his hand, cautiously showing us the small cell phone clasped in his fingers.

Edward immediately lunged for him. Jasper and Carlisle held him back, confused. I felt the wave of soothing calm that Jasper was broadcasting- it seemed to barely make a dent in Edward's rage.

"Call him? For you? I will destroy you, just like I did her. I'll call him alright. Give that to me. Now. I said NOW!" Edward seethed, responding to Laurent's frightened thoughts. Laurent cowered, falling to his knees and offering the phone above his head, almost like a sacrifice.

"I mean your family no harm. I am following instructions, only that. I just need…" He paused to reconsider his tactics, "-Would like if one of you could call and speak to him. Tell him that I've done what he asked. Then I will leave and you will never hear of me again."

"Like hell you will!" Emmett boomed from beside me. I put a hand on his chest to attempt to calm him. He shrugged it off. "Bella is like a sister to us, and you aren't leaving until you tell us where the hell that bastard took her!"

Laurent winced. Edward moaned, biting his lip and turning away, rebuffing Jasper and Carlisle's attempts to calm him, "He doesn't know." Edward's voice surprised me. He went from passionately angry to almost dead. His tone of voice was still and hopeless.

He looked up at me, his eyes blazing. _Fuck_. "I am nowhere near hopeless, Rosalie. I don't care what I have to do or who I have to hurt. Bella will be back." The fire ignited once more in his eyes now, he motioned for the phone. Carlisle cautiously took it from Laurent before handing it to Edward. Edward stared Laurent down until the coward looked to the floor in submission. He dialed. We all listened with bated breath as we heard the phone ring on the other end of the line.

"Hello?" James' voice. I almost gagged. It was sickeningly smooth. It reminded me of Royce. I shuddered and turned into the comfort of Emmett's arms. He held me silently, still watching the phone.

Edward paused for only a second, "Where is Bella?" He demanded. I marveled at how he managed to make his voice both authoritative and threatening.

There was a pause and a slight scuffle on the other line. "Ah, Edward. You know, I regret not getting the chance to speak with you further in person. Although I have heard so much about you." His voice held a smile. Edward growled before composing himself.

"Tell me where she is." He said. James laughed.

"Afraid I can't do that. Although I'm assuming that since you're calling, Laurent completed that little task for me." He paused, "You can thank Bella for that."

"What do you-" Edward's voice broke as the next sound came over the phone. It was muffled, but it was there. A scream. A shrill, suffering scream. I had only screamed like that once in my entire existence. Bella was screaming that way now.

Oh, God. He'd bit her. He'd bit her and she was already changing.

Edward swallowed, but no sound came out. The hand holding the phone began to vibrate. His eyes were rapidly changing from their normal butterscotch color to a deep black.

"As you can hear, I have my hands full. Please don't try to find us, for Bella's sake." It was unbelievable. He still sounded so cocky and pleasant. I felt sick. Bella had to be feeling so confused and alone. She didn't understand the changes that were occurring.

"Although," He sighed, "I'm sure you'll disregard that request. Oh, and Edward, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for taking care of _my_ girl for me. I'll take it from here."

The other line disconnected with a soft click as we all stood, motionless as statues except for Edward's hand. None of us flinched when the phone burst into a thousand tiny plastic and metal shards beneath his hand.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Bella**_

Pain seemed to be an understatement. Pain implied many things… discomfort, aching. This was pure and unfiltered agony. My blood slipped and writhed in my veins, burning and smoldering. My lungs felt like they were never full- I gasped for breath but could only manage a tiny intake that allowed me to wheeze and cough in misery. Every muscle was taut and full of tension. I could feel my skin as clearly as I could my fingers; it was stretching, molding, and reinforcing. My toes and fingers curled as they throbbed. I arched off the bed. Though my hands and ankles were tied down to the bed, my stomach and pelvis rattled the bed as I thrust upwards. I felt a cool hand gently press my body back down to the bed.

My breath rattled through my teeth. I had never imagined that this much hurt was possible. My heart was beating wildly. I groaned as my heartbeat sped up even more, impossibly fast. I felt as if my chest would collapse onto itself due to the effort.

"Bella." His voice, clear and ringing in my ears, "It will be alright, Bella." I felt the hand slip into my right one; I gripped it tightly. Tears tracked seamlessly down my face. I wasn't stupid. I realized what was happening to me- Edward had told me very little, but he had told me enough. I remembered what small tidbits he'd told me: The process is painful, and Carlisle reserved it only for those near death. I was turning into a vampire, something that I had imagined only in my dreams. There, it was an easy change, a necessary sacrifice to be with my true love forever. Now, it was something completely different. I had not had a choice. James had taken me and bitten me without a second thought. His murmured vows of devotion made my stomach alternatively flip and turn.

I had given up on trying to provoke him days ago. I had screamed my throat raw, cursing him and myself. When I tried to slap his hands away from me, he had tied mine. When I kicked towards his perfect face, he tied my ankles. I wanted his anger. I craved it. Maybe if I made him mad enough, he would end this and my suffering. I had no such luck. No matter what hysterical insults I hurled at him, he would either smile grimly or ignore me.

Now, as my heartbeat whirred frantically, I accepted his hand in mine. Exhausted and terrified, I suddenly felt like a stranger to my own body. My eyes focused in and out before settling on James. He climbed up on the bed to lie next to me, his eyes drifting over my suddenly still form. His hand still held mine. I opened my mouth, but no sound would come. I felt paralyzed by my heart. It was positively thrumming now, one beat so close to another that I couldn't feel a pause between them. When he had first bitten me, time had seemed to stand still. The rays of light coming from behind the curtains signaling daylight had come and gone, come and gone, meaning nothing to me. Now time was going by too quickly. I felt like I was drowning. I turned to James, again. His eyes bore into mine, trying to communicate more than I wanted to understand. I looked away, straight up to the ceiling. My heart couldn't last much longer. My heart, which had known nothing until I met Edward.

_You tried to keep me in the light. Edward, I'm sorry._

I said a silent goodbye to my heart before collapsing into James' arms, letting the darkness take me over.

_**Edward**_

I stood by my piano, running my fingers lightly over the keys. Had it only been days ago that I had played for her?

Unbidden, the memory of her eyes as I played surfaced in my mind. Warm and affectionate, her deep brown eyes had shone with total love and devotion. I don't even think that she was aware of it; it came so naturally for her, to love unconditionally.

I grimaced and backed away from the piano. The past few days had bled into each other, making me unaware of when one day started and another began. My initial impulse had been to search endlessly for Bella- knock down each and every door within a hundred mile radius until I found the one that hid her. The plan was reckless, stupid and foolish, but that meant little to me. My family had restrained me before eventually talking sense into me. After I had decided to search for Bella, Alice had a vision of me. I was hounding humans, being crazed in an attempt to capture Bella's scent. I pushed children and shoved their angry parents aside as I tore their houses apart. I didn't find Bella.

The vision that Alice shared with me had disturbed me enough to stop myself, but it did nothing to ease the suffering I felt as acutely as if I had removed my heart. I had been out of control after James' phone call. His tone of voice, the way he regarded her- as _his_- had appalled me and inspired rage that I hadn't known I was capable of feeling.

Guilt played a significant role in my feelings, as well. I had selfishly brought Bella into this supernatural world. If I had just left her alone in the beginning, she wouldn't have been in that field. She wouldn't be dead.

_Dead. _I exhaled an unnecessary breath. I hadn't wanted to believe it. I refused to believe it. None of Alice's visions had the power to convince me. It was only Bella's scream that had done it. I closed my eyes, the memory of it assaulting me. How helpless I felt, how useless. How much pain Bella must be experiencing because I failed to protect her. It was bad enough that I had to deal with my thoughts. It was another thing altogether that I couldn't block those of my family. I knew they had been trying to give me space to grieve as they planned and schemed ways to rescue Bella. Unfortunately, it didn't stop some harsh thoughts from plaguing me.

Alice and Jasper had been speaking in hushed whispers in their bedroom. I had been sitting outside, staring into the forest. While their voices calmly discussed places James may have taken Bella, their thoughts severely diverted from the topic.

_Oh, Bella. She didn't deserve this. I don't know how we'll get her back. I feel so useless. My visions of her are so random and fleeting. I thought I was attuned to her. What help am I now? I'm the one that invited her and Edward to play. I'm the one who should have seen James and the others coming sooner. And the visions I do have- her and James! She doesn't appear to be fighting him... what is going on in her head? Is she fooling him until she can run away, return to us? Does she genuinely feel for him? I'd never forgive myself if that fucker brainwashes her into thinking he loves her more than we do._

Alice's thoughts were like a hot poker searing my head. I saw the visions she referenced as she thought of them- the same as before, Bella kissing James, looking up at him, caressing him, allowing him to touch her. They were too painful. It was one thing to think of James holding Bella hostage, forcing her to stay. It was another to imagine her growing attached to him, wanting to stay with him. I tried to tell myself that it was impossible. I knew that I loved Bella. That I always would. I had never felt any romantic inkling towards anyone before her. She was and would continue to be my life, my soul, my everything. If we found her and she truly didn't want me anymore, I would not stand in the way of her happiness, but a part of me could not accept that anyone but me could make her happy. Jasper's thoughts had also barreled into my brain on that day.

_The feelings in the meadow when she chose to save Esme. I could have choked on them. The ones coming from her- pain, anguish, but acceptance. Such sadness, but she was genuinely relieved that we wouldn't be hurt. She wasn't just concerned for Edward. She was worried for all of us. This small, fragile girl that the rest of us had only formally met the same day. I've never met a human capable of such kindness and selflessness. _

I had smiled tightly when I heard that. It was nice that my family had realized how special Bella was, but it hurt to hear it reiterated so often. Rosalie had been obsessing nonstop over the past days. She pictured herself springing upon James, tearing him apart and bringing a thankful Bella back home, all in a thousand different scenarios. Her tenacity had never been more apparent; she refused to accept any reality in which she could not vindicate and rescue Bella. Emmett was equally upset, although his thoughts alternated between finding Bella and tying James up against a tree while Emmett took swipes at a grizzly and then at James, switching off in glee. Esme was preoccupied with worrying over Bella's soon-to-be newborn status- would James encourage her to drink human blood? Carlisle spent most hours locked away in his office, stressing over the state of his family, Bella's safety, and my ability to remain rational.

I had not gone into town since Bella's absence. Alice and Emmett had gone into town yesterday to make an appearance at school and explain that the rest of the Cullens had contracted the flu. Alice had inadvertently observed Charlie at the high school.

_He carried a faded cardboard box. The sleeve of a maroon sweatshirt poked out of the side. Books, a pale blue headband and a crumpled empty brown lunch bag were also in the box. The principal had taken the bag to throw it away as they emptied her locker's belongings, but Charlie's hand had tightened around his arm. He gently took the bag and placed it in the box that held Bella's school belongings. Charlie looked horrible. His face was pale and drawn, his eyes tight and red. His shoulders were slumped, and his feet shuffled as he walked. _

Alice couldn't help but be glad that Jasper had not come to school with her- she didn't doubt that Charlie's grief and sorrow would traumatize Jasper for days. She knew that Charlie would refuse to officially call off the search for Bella for weeks. He would try to remain hopeful that Ben had made a mistake, that Bella had been alive when the bear took her, that she had escaped and was lost in the woods somewhere, confused and hurt but alive. But he had seen the body of the Weber girl, even though his fellow officers tried to shield it from him. The girl had been torn into. Alice could recognize that he knew, in his heart, that his daughter was dead. She turned, grabbed Emmett's hand, and ran to the Jeep. She had dry sobbed the entire drive home.

All James had done since he entered Forks was rip into it and devastate it. The town as a whole was mourning Bella's loss, but none more than Bella's family and me. My only hope was knowing that she wasn't gone for good. She would rise soon, a newborn vampire. She wouldn't blush or stumble anymore, but I knew she would still be my Bella. As long as she continued to exist, I would not give up on her. I would convince her to come with me, to live with and join my family, as she was meant to.

All I had to do was find her.

_**James**_

The past few days had not been pleasant. I had never been with a human as they went through the change before. It was a very interesting process. I had expected to be irritated and annoyed by her screams and ramblings. I had only left her briefly (after tying her down) to bribe the manager into keeping the surrounding rooms (and then some) free of habitation and human interference. The last thing I needed was a couple cops bursting in. Although I was inkling for a snack… perhaps I should have let the chips fall where they may.

I hadn't expected Bella to inspire such feelings in me. I did not know I was capable of the emotions. My mouth had dropped open in surprise when I realized that I felt sorrow for her. Not that I regretted what I'd done. On the contrary, I was still proud. I hadn't been sure if I had the self control to keep myself from draining her dry. The taste of her blood had been quenching and exquisite- I had found something I hadn't known I was searching for. I think it was the kiss that did it. Even though I knew that she did it out of necessity and anger, it didn't stop me from enjoying it. And I could tell she enjoyed it too.

It was strange that I felt for her. I knew she was going through pain, and that bothered me. I wished I had some way to make the process easier. I didn't want this creature to suffer. I wanted to ease her pain. It was extraordinary. Although I had cared for Victoria, I had no concern over her fate. She was likely suffering, and that did not cause my conscience to so much as tingle. Bella was different. Obviously, she was something to be prized and savored. I knew as much when she had an entire clan clamoring to keep her safe. But I was only now realizing what she could mean. I had never imagined respecting anyone enough to see them as an equal, a mate. I already cared for the girl more than I should. I should be slapping her for screaming so loud, not whispering sweet words and holding her hand. For all the times that I had fucked Victoria, I had never shown her any facet of the tenderness I was showing Bella now.

She was not the only one undergoing serious changes.

I could hear her heartbeat pick up speed. She gasped, and I decided to join her on the bed, knowing she was too weak to fight. An unfamiliar rush of warmth enveloped me when she not only allowed me to lie next to her without lashing out; she squeezed my hand tightly. She looked into my eyes. Her brown ones were piercing mine. I couldn't help but look back, wondering. As her head tipped back, I saw her eyes looking dazed towards the ceiling. I drew her into my arms, carefully lifting her so that my right arm was under her hips, the left across her stomach. She closed her eyes and went limp against me. I heard her heart sputter before stopping.

I lay with her for a moment, rubbing my cheek slowly against her forehead that still had beads of sweat across it. I closed my eyes for a moment, savoring the stillness. I looked down at her. I was not expecting her eyes to already be open. She was regarding me, her body still completely still in my arms. I was struck by the beauty in my arms. The beauty with gorgeous, crimson eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Bella**_

Ironically enough, I had never felt more alive.

I twisted my hand, flexing my fingers. I was aware of every single inch of my skin, smooth and pale. My mind was whirling with new senses and perceptions. I could hear the grating scratch of a small creature digging their claws into a tree that must have been at least a mile away. I could smell so many unusual scents, and differentiate between them all. Categorize them. I immediately inhaled as I caught a distant scent, through the walls that held me. It was positively divine. I could feel a thick pool of liquid build in my mouth as I continued to breathe in. It was luscious. I allowed my hunger to take over before I picked up a particular sound in tandem with the irresistible scent. A thumping heart beat. I stopped, shocked. What was I doing? This was a person that I was drawn to. I immediately stiffened, and it was then that I noticed the arms that held me.

I looked up. He was staring at me. His eyes, more than anything else, confused me. My memory of the encounter in the meadow was vague, but I remembered that his eyes had been blood red then. When I had woken in this room, they were blue with only a hint of red around the iris. They were this way now. I tilted my head, continuing my perusal. For all of the cocky attitude he had held before, he seemed stunned now. He gazed at me, his eyes focused on me. I felt a pang as I remembered only one other being who had ever looked at me that way. _Edward_.

I felt a cool wave of nausea sweep through me. Edward. I had to get to him. With a flick of my wrists, I broke the thick rope that bound them. James moved to press my shoulders down, and I shoved him. He flew ten feet into the wall, the impact making small cracks in the plaster. He stayed there for a moment as I quickly broke the ropes that held my ankles to the bed. I jumped up, pleased to find that I felt perfectly balanced. Distracted, I didn't see James spring and pounce. He pinned me to the ground. I felt a deep rumble develop deep in my chest as I lifted my top lip. Was I _growling_? I easily overpowered him and ran quickly to the door. His hand came from behind me, slamming on the door to keep it shut. I turned to him.

"What? Haven't you done enough? Let me go." I snarled, my voice almost unrecognizable to me. It seemed lower, huskier. _Probably due to all the screaming for the past couple of days_. I paused as the memories assaulted me. James biting me, and the burning agony that followed.

"You can't. I won't let you." His voice, smooth and thick as honey, caused me to pause. I turned to him. I knew I could rip his hand off of the door with ease, which caused me to be confident. I could feel raw energy and power simmering in my veins.

"_Let_ me? You do not_ let_ me do anything. You are nothing to me." I smirked, reaching my hand to open the door again.

"Not nothing. I'm your sire, little girl, and I'm not about to_ let_ you go out there and massacre a few dozen humans." He was angry now, I could tell, but his voice held an undertone of something else, something I couldn't recognize.

I scoffed before immediately sobering. Sire? I felt immediately confused and foolish, wishing that Edward had told me more about the process. I knew that he had killed humans. I remembered in the meadow, him telling me that both Emmett and Jasper had struggled with resisting the temptation that humans presented.

I paused, my hand still on the door handle. I couldn't forgive myself if I went out there and just happened to murder a family. But how could I trust James to tell me the truth? I couldn't. But I also couldn't return to the Cullen's with human blood on my hands. I winced; how Edward would look at me, disappointed and disgusted…

"You're right." James' voice rang in my ears. I raised an irritated eyebrow at him. He continued, his hand still blocking the door, but his voice noticeably calmer, "You surprise me." He smiled slightly, "In more than one way. Any other newborn would be breaking down the door and snapping necks as soon as he or she woke. I could tell when you caught the scent, but you… resisted." He said the last word, and his tone turned to a wondering sort of confusion. "I've truly never seen anything like it."

"Yeah, well, good for me. But I think I'll take my chances." I tried to hide behind my bravado, but my confidence was severely shaken. I had no idea how to do this. How would I get back to Edward? I could tell it was daylight outside. I remembered how he glowed in the sun. Would I do the same?

James laid the hand that had been holding the door out to my shoulder, slowly and almost tentatively. I didn't react, looking at him as if for the first time. I was lost in a new world that I didn't understand. I had no guidance, had nothing. He seemed emboldened by the fact that I had not smacked his arm off of me. He said my name once. I ignored him. He tried again.

"Bella. I know this is…" He seemed to struggle to find the right word, "Difficult for you. I can't say that I'm sorry, because I'm not, but I do regret your pain. I can't let you go out there. If you're going to hunt people, you need to learn how to do it correctly. And I can't let you go out when the sun is shining that way. I'll tell you more in time, but there is a sort of policing force in the vampire world. We're not allowed to let the humans know of our existence. Everyone follows the rules...everyone who wants to survive." He lifted another hand to my cheek, softly brushing a brunette strand out of my eyes.

"You want me to survive." I said, my voice expressionless. I looked up at him. I felt all of my frustration and confusion bubble to the surface, and I was afraid my expression betrayed it. He smiled softly, his hand still on my cheek.

"I do. I wouldn't have made you into this if I didn't want you to survive. I told you, Bella, your blood sang to me, and you appealed to me like no one else ever has."

I shook my head, shaking his hand off. He sighed, clenching it by his side, "Believe what you want. I have no reason to lie. I've never felt this way about anyone before, and I sure as hell don't want you skittering off to the Cullen's. If you choose to, however, I won't try to stop you. I just want you to know more about our kind so that you don't make a fateful mistake. I may not like the idea of you going back to _him_," He sneered, "But I'd rather that happen than you be destroyed by the Volturi. I don't think I could bear it." He seemed honest in everything he said. It made me uncomfortable and uneasy.

My confusion was almost palpable now. What was the Volturi? I felt cautious and unsure. I knew I couldn't trust him, but what other options did I have? I seemed to be stronger than him. If I could stay long enough for dusk to fall, long enough for him to tell me these rules, then maybe I could resist human blood long enough to make it back to Edward.

As my thoughts took over, I looked into James' face again. It irritated me. I couldn't find a trace of ulterior motives in his expression. He looked satisfied that I hadn't left, along with that same emotion I didn't want to analyze.

"I stay for a few hours. You tell me all you know. Then, I'm gone." I said, attempting to make my voice sound firm.

He nodded, "If that's what you want at the time, then I'll let you leave." He smiled slightly.

"I will." I countered, annoyed at his attitude.

"We'll see."

_**James**_

She astounded me. If she was appealing before as a human, she was magnificent as a vampire. From her appealing curves to her soft yet definably beautiful features, I was spellbound. Her scent was still intact, but the itching and burning it caused my throat was gone. Her fiery red eyes made my skin tingle and my cock twitch. I restrained myself, guessing that she would not be too receptive to an attempted seduction at the moment. I inwardly smirked; this sense of self-discipline was a new experience for me.

I knew that she would be strong as a newborn, but I had been unprepared when she threw me across the room. As she methodically tore through the ropes, I was unabashedly turned on; I hoped she didn't notice. Stopping her from leaving was one of the most difficult tasks I've ever accomplished. Every fiber of my being wanted to claim her, throw her on the bed, dominate her and inform her that she belonged to me. I had enough sense to know that she wouldn't appreciate that. I didn't want a captive; I wanted a mate. Still, she had to learn to stay with me, to defer to me. If I was going to do this right, I had to be much more subtle than I was used to being.

Patience was most definitely not my forte; for the next couple of days, it would have to be.

She was still eyeing me suspiciously. She perched herself on the bed, waiting for what I assumed, she thought would be a high school style lecture. Principles of Vampirism 101. I almost snorted. This one was definitely special. She should be trembling, she should be traumatized. Instead, she seemed nervous, at the very worst.

"Let's start with any questions you want to ask." I said. She made a slight face before answering almost immediately.

"Your eyes, why…" Her voice. Ah, it was difficult to answer in the first place. All I wanted to do was hear her speak; it made my hair stand on end in the loveliest way possible.

I smiled as I realized what she was asking, "Contacts, Bella. I wasn't wearing them when I met you." I could see the flash of pain on her face, and I cursed myself for bringing that matter to her mind. I quickly attempted to move on as I explained, "Whenever I know I'm going to be interacting with humans, I usually wear these contacts."

She nodded, looking closely at my eyes.

"Why blue?" She asked.

I shrugged, "My eyes were blue when I was human. It seemed fitting."

"And you wore them for me because…?" She trailed off, the question in her voice.

"I wanted to put you at ease as much as possible." I said. She laughed softly before lowering her eyes, obviously trying not to offend me. I stifled a smile.

"Next time you want to put me at ease, try the whole not kidnapping me route. That would've been nice." She mused. I chuckled, and she smiled wryly.

"I don't want you to get the wrong impression. This was the most horrible experience of my life. But my feelings… they're so across the board right now. One moment I feel devastated, the next I'm exhilarated." She looked at me closer then, and ducked her head. I had the feeling that if she were human she'd be blushing. The thought pleased me.

"Please tell me how I can resist the thirst. I don't want to hurt people." She explained, as if that were obvious. A newborn that cared more for people's welfare than her own appetite. I certainly had my hands full.

"Why? Because your vegetarians would be disappointed if you did?" I asked, watching as she looked down at the bedspread, toying with the fabric as she answered.

"Not entirely. I don't want to hurt people. I don't _want_ to be a monster."

"A little late for that." I murmured. She looked at me, her expression blank. I gazed back at her, "How will he feel about this? Will he feel the same way, about you I mean?"

"Edward loves me." Her voice quivered slightly. I didn't fail to notice how she hadn't answered my question. I don't think she did, either.

As a tracker, I could sense weakness. I could practically taste it, feel it dissolve on my tongue. It was coming off of Bella in waves when I questioned her over Edward's devotion. She obviously had retained the insecurities of her human façade. I had to break her of this attachment to the Cullens.

"You're so very different. I wonder how they'll take it." I was careful to keep my tone light and only innocently speculative. She shrugged. I had to bite back a smile. She was so obviously trying to pretend as if she had no worries in the world.

"You'll need to keep a low profile, Bella. As far as the unwitting populace is concerned, you were mauled, killed, and carried off by a bear. Don't go messing with people's heads. I'll bet anything that your father still hasn't given up the search for you."

She groaned, and I felt an unfamiliar pang inside as I saw a spasm of pain flicker upon her features. _Huh_. Before I had time to ponder what bothered me, she breathed in deeply. "Charlie thinks I got killed by a bear?"

"Officially, you wandered away from the Cullens, got lost, met up with a bear and lost. The story will hold." I held back on telling her the details of exactly why it would hold. She probably would not be too keen on the whole "murder of a human" process that verified the tale. Details for another day.

She nodded slowly before her eyes met mine. Deep and dark red, so vivid. She spoke slowly, "I'm glad you gave him that."

I quirked an eyebrow, "Gave who what?"

"My dad the story. I'm glad he can have some sort of closure… eventually." Her lips pursed on the last word.

I nodded. I heard the soft sound of an engine purring. I looked over at Bella, who had her head cocked to the side, listening.

"That would be the last humans in between us and the car. Can you feel it, Bella? Can you feel the difference in your throat, in your gut?"

She nodded, "It still burns, but… less." She said, looking to me as if for approval. I smiled encouragingly.

"Good. The further the prey is, the less the immediate temptation." I walked to the window and moved the curtain aside slightly, "It's not quite evening yet. Twilight. Perfect time to travel."

She stiffened, rising from the bed. I tilted my head to the side, wondering what I had said that bothered her.

"I want to go home." She stated simply. I opened the door, gesturing for her to go first. She stared at me, incredulous. I knew she had to be suspecting a trick. This was going to be quite the chase. I would bring her back, but I had no plans on giving up Bella permanently. No matter what happened, I was a tracker. There was nowhere she could go, with or without her little friends, where I could not follow.

Still, it irked me that she called their coven household _home_. I couldn't remember having a home. Even as a human, I bounced around from the orphanage to the streets, never finding a permanent, comforting place. The boys had all called me the tracker. I was the best at finding the nicer week-old pastries out of the dumpsters, the expert at wrestling the barely-rotten meat from the junk yard dogs. As I aged, I was the one who had the instinct to know where my acquaintances could find a good, legitimate fix. I could sniff out quality drugs (and cheating dealers) better than a basset hound. Imagine my surprise when my best qualities were strengthened when I was turned.

I had never had a home. Victoria had told me once that she considered me her home. I thought the idea was preposterous enough, but I was even more surprised that she meant it. She was content to be around me, no matter where we roamed. For the first time, I truly understood what she meant. I wanted Bella to be my home, and I wanted her to think of me as hers.

I just had to wait.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Edward**_

It was absolute torture, this waiting. I felt weak and useless. I paced the floor for hours at a time, ignoring the concerned thoughts of my family.

I had to get her back.

Carlisle, practical man that he was, was already calling various contacts, trying to see if anyone had a lead on James or where he may have taken Bella. My heart plummeted at the responses I heard: _Who? Well, that's awful. Does he have a coven?_ They all said the same thing, asked the same concerned questions. I felt like I was sinking.

Carlisle entered the room, and I groaned at his thoughts.

_Tanya and Irina are coming up. They should be here within the hour. _

"Why?" I asked, frustrated, "What possible use…" I trailed off, pinching the bridge of my nose.

_They want to see if they can help. Please try to be kind Edward, they are practically family._

I nodded curtly, acknowledging his thoughts. He sighed. He seemed to want to say something else, but decided against it. As he left the building I sank into the sofa. After a short amount of time, I heard a light tap on the door. I scowled when I realized no one else was going to answer the door. _Traitors_. I opened the door. "Irina, Tanya." I said, my voice dead and monotone. They both looked at me in shock.

_My God, I've never seen him like this. _

_I can't believe a human's absence is causing this-_

I growled sharply, and Irina looked properly abashed at her current train of thought. Tanya was still concerned. She eyed me carefully. She knew better than to ask if I was alright.

Irina went upstairs to talk to Alice, and Tanya lingered downstairs. I resumed my pacing of the room, ignoring her presence. I knew it was rude. I didn't care. _Edward_. She called to me through her thoughts. I stopped, looking at her. I tried to find a reason to be angry with her. I searched her thoughts for hidden feelings, for jealousy, for resentment. I found only concern. I sighed, looking at the floor.

"Forgive me, Tanya. I feel as if I'm going through hell. No, no, hell must be better than this." I choked out. She flew into my arms rapidly, and I blinked in surprise. Her thoughts showed no romantic or sexual motivation- she was hugging me tightly, as she would one of her sisters. I put my arms around her, allowing my sadness to take over. I buried my head in her hair as I tightened my hold. My Bella was gone, and I didn't know how to get her back. How would I?

My thoughts were interrupted by a shout from upstairs. Alice. Ugh. But what she screamed next made my body jerk as if it was caught in an electric charge. Bella? I broke my hold on Tanya and instinctively looked outside. It was then that I saw her. Red eyes boring through the snow, on her knees. I felt my heart jump to my throat. She was back, she was home. Before I could think anything else, she turned around and ran.

_**Bella **_

I couldn't understand why James was being so accommodating. No way would he go to all of this trouble, just to let me go. It made absolutely no sense. As we approached the car I dashed to the passenger seat. As I clicked my seat belt, I caught James smiling at me. I rolled my eyes slightly before I turned to look out of the window. He sighed.

I had to be on alert. I knew he would try to trick me. Maybe he'd go the wrong way on purpose, or drive me into a crowded town square just to watch me make a huge mess. I had to get to Edward. I had to. This had to work. After the physical and emotional turmoil of the past few days, I needed him to tell me that it was going to be alright. That I could thrive as a vampire. With him. Together.

The sight of Forks coming into view made me pause and glance at James. Well, he was definitely going the right way. I glanced at the speedometer and restrained a panicked yelp from leaving my throat. I had to remind myself of my new abilities- even a pile-up coupled with a wreck into a Mack truck couldn't harm me. It was exciting to think about, but also undeniably scary.

As we drove closer to the Cullen residence, I gazed at James thoughtfully. He frustrated me. What was his motivation? What was up his sleeve? I refused to believe that this could be as easy a process as I wanted it to be. At the end of the Cullens long driveway, the car halted to a stop. I began to feel cautious amounts of joy. I turned to James, confused. His face was pained. He nodded his head towards the driveway.

"Go, if you want." He said, his voice soft. I nodded, barely able to contain my surprise. As I opened the door, he caught my left arm. I turned, anger flitting across my face. I knew he would try something.

"I'll be here for five minutes or so." He nodded to the end of the driveway to indicate the position, "If you want to come back."

I scoffed before ripping my arm from his grasp and jumping out of the car. I turned to look at him. What does one say to someone who kidnapped you and killed you before kindly driving you home? I couldn't think of anything, so I turned and ran as fast as I could. I saw the lights inside the Cullen house glimmering in the distance. I bit back a dry sob. Home. I was so close to home.

As I ran towards the house, I saw through the main window, into the living room. I caught sight of Edward's hair, and a joyful murmur escaped my throat.

I stopped cold when I saw that he wasn't alone.

A vampire was currently cradled in his arms. I could only see her back, but I knew from the way she was touching him that she wasn't one of his sisters. Her long, strawberry blond hair fell delicately down her back as she held Edward, her arms wound around his neck. He had his arms around her waist, his head buried in her shoulder. They were absolutely still.

I felt like I was going to be sick. How could I be so stupid? How could I believe that Edward had really loved me as a human? When not even a week from my disappearance he's already doing this? My emotions were wrecked. I fell to my knees, not 20 yards from the front door. I buried my face in my hands. How could I go in there now? I knew Edward well enough to know he'd feel obligated to take care of me. Oh, I felt like throwing up. Can vampires do that? The last thing I ever wanted was to hold Edward back. That's what I would do if I stayed…

I heard a shout from the upper level of the house, which startled me into alarm. Alice was gazing at me from her window, confusion and excitement on her face. I froze. No. No, please.

"BELLA!" She screamed through the window, before disappearing, presumably as she ran downstairs to come greet me. I winced as her yell startled Edward and the blond. She looked upstairs, confused, and Edward looked outside. Straight into my eyes.

I had no other thoughts besides _No_. I bolted, running faster than I had ever imagined running in my human life. I heard shouts behind me, and fast footsteps in pursuit.

"BELLA! STOP! PLEASE!"

"She's faster than all of us as a newborn, come on!"

"Where's she going?!"

"BELLA!"

The last shout affected me the most. He sounded tortured, afraid. And he sounded much closer than the others. I pushed myself into going faster. I saw James. He turned towards me, his mouth opening in a small "O" of surprise. He paused for a millisecond before popping open the passenger door. He had already stomped on the gas pedal as I shot into the car, closing the door behind me.

"GO!" I screamed, cradling my face in my hands. I could still hear the shouts; they'd taken on a new desperate tone once they'd seen James in the car. He nodded, flooring the gas pedal. As we sped out of Forks, I heard a strangled, anguished cry. I dry sobbed into my hands. I had no place anywhere.

I was so foolish to think that he would want me like this.

As I turned to look at the scenery passing outside the window, I felt a hand grasp my left one. I turned. James still had his eyes on the road, but his hand was holding mine tightly. I closed my eyes, and let him.

_**Jasper**_

As the car pulled away, we all stopped, shocked and appalled at the latest turn of events. Edward collapsed in the street, his fists banging cracks into the asphalt as he screamed. Alice was dry sobbing into my shoulder, and the others had only just come outside.

"Why did she run? Why'd she go back to him? _Why_?" She moaned into my jacket, trembling. I rubbed a soothing hand over her back.

Edward looked up at me then, seeking answers that I didn't have. His eyes were a deep, dangerous black, "What was she feeling, Jasper?" The entire family, as well as Tanya and Irina, turned their gazes to me. I felt bombarded. Everyone was feeling upset, confused, saddened. Edward and Alice were particularly devastated.

"When she was running," I began cautiously, "She felt hopeless and… unworthy. She also felt disgust and jealousy." I continued to rub Alice's back as she hiccupped.

"Why would she feel that way?" Rosalie demanded, "Jealous of whom?"

Edward's head snapped up, and his face became even more anguished. He looked straight at Tanya, who looked absolutely mortified.

"Edward, I didn't… I don't-" She stammered. Edward held out a hand before snarling, taking off into the woods. She looked to the rest of us, her feelings regretful and ashamed, "We were just hugging, I…"

"He doesn't blame you." Rosalie said softly, "He's blaming himself." She sighed heavily before leaning onto Emmett's shoulder.

"We'll get her back." Esme's soft voice caused us all to glance towards her. She frowned, "We love her. She loves us. We won't stop until we get her back."

We all murmured encouraging words of assent as we went outside, leaving Edward alone for the time being to grieve. I know we were all wondering the same thing.

…_But how long until then? ___


	9. Chapter 9

_**Bella**_

"Buon giorno, Signora. Come va?" The doorman greeted me, donning a cheeky smile. It made me laugh. He always greeted me politely, but only when James was absent from my side would he give me this flirty look. The first time I had mentioned this to James, he had growled and moved to stomp downstairs and "take care" of the problem. The one aspect that saved poor Marco's life was that he always addressed me as Missus, never Miss. This pleased James enough to pacify him. Still, it had taken all night for me to convince him that Marco posed no threat.

I treated him to a small smile before responding, "Bene, grazie." As I strode towards the elevator, something struck me. His smile reminded me of someone, something. I thoughtfully scanned my memory as I tried to place who he reminded me of. My cool, pale finger pressed the "up" button. Who could it be? I knew that it had to be from my human life. Everyone I had met as a vampire was clear in my memory. My human memories were more muddled. My fingers stiffened as it clicked. Dark hair, mischievous grin, thick torso. _Emmett_. I allowed myself a moment for the memories to flood me; not memories of Emmett, but of his brother. I shook myself out of it as I stepped into the elevator.

It had taken me a few years to learn to think of them logically. It used to be that if I saw something, anything that reminded me of him or his family, I would practically become catatonic. The hurt was raw and fresh for the first two years or so. It made it worse that they were actively looking for me. Initially, James would tell me if one of them were getting close, meaning we had to leave. Eventually, I asked him to stop telling me. It didn't matter. I supposed they would look for me out of a misplaced since of obligation. I was with them when James found me, so they most likely felt extreme guilt that their presence in my life had lead to my demise. But I didn't want nor need their pity. The only reason I had gone to them in the first place was for Edward. Seeing him with that goddess of a woman had convinced me of how wrong I was. I was a novel distraction for Edward, a human infatuation.

He had told me he loved me, but he didn't. The bare, hurtful fact still caused me a small pang in my gut. After fleeing the Cullens with James, I had sworn up and down to not be that girl anymore. To not allow myself to fall so deeply. The rest came naturally. I was no longer clumsy, or plain. My long brunette hair was slightly wavy and impeccably shiny. My features were sharper, more defined. I learned to disregard the admiring looks thrown my way very soon into my existence. My contacts did help, of course. James had chosen ones tinted light brown. I doubted that I would attract so many admiring looks if my real ruby-colored irises were apparent.

I stepped out of the elevator and directly into my home. It was bizarre to call one single place home. For so long, James had moved us around almost constantly. We could barely stay in one place for a few weeks before he would say it was time to go. He always gave me the option of staying and talking to whichever one was getting close. _Confrontation can be healthy_, he would say. But I understood the doubt and insecurity- he was afraid that if I met with one of them, they would convince me to leave him. How silly. Leaving with one of the Cullens would be like ripping off one of my limbs: painful and of no purpose.

I walked into the large penthouse, tossing my keys carelessly onto the polished marble counter. I opened the fridge and bit back a smile. James had visited the blood bank, as he had promised. I shook my head and sighed. He'd never broken a promise before, so why start now? I took two bags out and retrieved my favorite mug from the lowest shelf. "Bite Me" was painted on the front in stark white paint, contrasting with the burgundy color. It was one of the few possessions I'd kept throughout the years. James had gotten it for me after we'd been together for about six months. It was the first time I'd laughed since we'd gone to the Cullens.

There were two bags, one AB+ and one O+. James had left a tiny post-it on the AB+ bag that read: "Rare, so savor! See you tonight". I chuckled. He knew me too well. For a while he had always left notes like this and ended them with "I love you", or "love you". It made me very uncomfortable, because I could never say it back. Sometimes I wanted to, but I couldn't. James said he'd give me all the time in the world, but I still felt guilty. I told him many times how I felt about him: you're in my heart, I adore you… but I could not find the resolve to say I loved him. I don't think I'm even capable of love anymore.

I didn't deserve James' treatment of me. I considered myself a disappointment to him, although he assured me otherwise. The first few months of my life as a vampire were rocky and full of confusion. James would coerce me into feeding with him. I took one gulp of a lone drifter's blood and felt nothing but disgust at my thirst. _Wrong, wrong, wrong_. No matter what, I couldn't escape my human conscience. James had been patient- he had deliberately tracked freed killers and rapists for me, hoping that I would have no qualms in taking their lives. Unfortunately, I did. The last resort came at that time, a little over five and a half years ago. He had stolen donated blood, heated it up in my new mug, and offered it.

I had once proposed that I could live off animal blood… needless to say, it was the wrong suggestion to make. James had been furious, insisting that vampires who fed on animals were lowly. I had backed down quickly, sensing that it wasn't really the status of vampire that James minded so much as which vampires were also "vegetarians". I suppose neither one of us liked when the Cullens came to mind.

As I sipped my mug of warmed blood, I perched myself on the counter, closing my eyes. Today had been such a normal day, uneventful. I had gone shopping briefly before exploring Venice. It was such a lovely city. I liked it here, especially on days like this when the sun was behind the clouds.

I still thought of my family from time to time. James knew this, and he would get updates for me. I never asked how he got them, or even if they were real; if he was faking accounts just to appease me, I would readily welcome the comfort. He told me Charlie moved to Michigan, where he was offered the police chief position in yet another small town. He had met a local woman there, a gentle, kind woman, who he had begun tentatively dating. Renee was just… Renee. She had grieved, but she was still functioning, devoting more and more of her time to volunteer work. My family seemed to be doing fine without me.

I heard the quiet buzz of the elevator, inaudible to human ears. James. I forced a smile on my face. I knew he had been hunting. He'd told me as much. He knew I didn't like the details. It was getting more difficult to ignore the scent of blood that he carried with him. I would find myself wondering who he had killed. Did they have a family? Friends? Someone expecting them home for supper? It made my heart ache, and I had to consciously try to not think about it. My being upset only made James upset, and that served no purpose at all.

As he opened the door, I forced my thoughts away from the past, and to my present. He returned my smile as he kicked the door close softly, carrying in two suitcases with ease.

"Ciao, Bella." He smiled at me teasingly. He knew I disliked speaking Italian. Learning a foreign language did not come easily to me at all. I stuck my tongue out at him playfully. He came to stand in front of me, placing his hands on opposite sides of my legs on the island. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine softly. I hummed in pleasure as I wrapped my arms around his neck, twining my fingers in his hair. I grumbled when I was met with much less than I was used to. I was used to it being long- I forgot that he cut it earlier today. It was a drastic decision, considering it wouldn't grow back. He smiled against my lips, sensing the reason for my change in mood.

"Don't pout, Bella. There're always wigs, if you're in the mood." He grinned teasingly before retreating to the cases, opening them and beginning to sort through various papers. I admired him from where I sat. I did have to get used to the new hair, but I liked it. He'd left it its natural color, dirty blond, but cut it much shorter, almost a crew cut. It was sexy in a way, though. My eyes traveled leisurely down his slim but tightly muscled torso, masked by a pair of cargo pants and a tight black t-shirt.

_Mine_, I thought possessively.

I wondered idly what those papers regarded, but then I decided that I didn't need to know. James had various contacts all over the world that provided him with all the money and prestige he wanted. I knew he had changed himself for me. He used to be a virtual nomad, never staying in one place for more than a few days. Now we had a chance at staying in Venice for a good while. Hopefully the Cullens had given up by now; I was tired of scampering away every time one of them drew near. I knew if this kept happening I'd have to confront them one day. I just wasn't ready yet.

"Get changed, we're expected at the ball at seven-thirty." James called to me, already down the hall and changing in our bedroom. I pouted and sighed theatrically before following him. I sat on the bed as he began to change into a simple white dress shirt and slacks.

"Why do we have to go? I want to stay in tonight." I said, trying to keep the petulant note out of my voice. He glanced at me then, eyes burning into me.

"I know what you're doing, and there will be none of that until after. So stop tempting me." He groaned as I innocently opened my legs slightly, treating him to a glance of my panties. He glared, "You're not fighting fair."

"Never said I would." I frowned before getting up and heading to my private, walk-in closet to change, "I hate you for this, just so you know."

"Yeah, yeah." He muttered, moving to the doorway of my closet to watch me, "I've heard it all before. Now get going, succubus."

I rolled my eyes. James had been getting friendly with the Volturi while we were in Italy. One of their master vampires, Aro, was throwing a ball near our apartment. I didn't like him at all. He was intrigued that no one's powers seemed to work on me, and always inquired as to whether I'd developed any new power. He made me feel like a freak in the world of vampires, who are arguably already freaks. It was quite an accomplishment.

I heard James' quick intake of breath as I shimmied out of the casual jumper I'd worn all day. I smiled, peeking over a shoulder as I stepped into the dark blue gown I'd chosen to wear. It was made of a soft material that clung to my curves, exposing a tasteful amount of cleavage and ending shortly below my ankles. I turned around, my smile growing larger when I saw the naked lust in James' eyes.

"Are you sure we have to go?" I sidled up to him, one hand idly tracing his abs over his shirt. He groaned before taking my wandering hand and holding it.

"We shouldn't disappoint Aro." He paused, bringing a hand up to my face and brushing an idle strand from my eyes, "And you will pay for this later."

"Promise?" I whispered, my voice husky and low. James closed his eyes in frustration. I could tell he was battling with whether to throw me down on the bed or fulfill his promise to Aro. I anxiously hoped for the former.

"We're going." He said, tugging on my arm. I sighed, disappointed, before grabbing a light gray shawl. James looked at me, amused. I shrugged.

"It looks nice." I countered his gaze, feeling embarrassed. Even though I never got cold anymore, I still took a shawl or jacket with me out of habit. It was a quirk that James found cute, which frustrated me. He extended his arm gallantly, and I took it with a smile.

Our driver was waiting in the car outside, ready to whisk us off to the ball. It would've been much quicker to run, but that would have been tempting fate in these heels. A short drive later, we approached the ballroom, arm in arm. It was unusual to be around so many vampires. As we entered, I looked around casually, eyeing the decorations. It was as if the room had been drizzled in crystal. Very flashy, very offensive to the eye: very Aro. James led me to the center of the room, where I could see Aro entertaining guests. I passed on a smile, and felt rather than heard James restrain a chuckle. He let go of my arm so that he could put it around my waist. The possessive gesture was not lost on me, but I appreciated it. I didn't like the way Aro was already looking at me, like he'd like to lock me up in a tower and test me for all eternity. As we drew closer, he grinned and clapped his hands.

"James! Bella! I was hoping you would make it." He shook each of our hands in turn. "Please enjoy yourselves tonight, and mingle! This is the largest gathering of my friends I've had in over a century." He bowed theatrically before rushing over to another group. I stood, slightly shocked. That was much easier than I thought it would be. Now we could slip out, go home, I could start a hot bath… I glanced up at James, hoping he was thinking along these lines. However, he seemed to be otherwise occupied. He turned to me, tension and panic in his features. I gasped instantaneously, wondering what was wrong.

"Bella, listen to me. Go outside and wait for me. Now." He breathed, low and urgent. I shook my head, confused and frustrated.

"I'm not going anywhere without you. What's going on?" I turned to face him, anger painted on my features.

"Bella?" A soft voice from behind me asked. My eyes widened as they met James'. He had a tortured expression and his eyes were glued to whoever stood behind me. I knew that it had to be one of them. I took a soft breath before turning around.

Her face was the same, like a princess out of the picture books Renee used to love reading to me. She was looking at me as if she had just found a great prize in an unexpected place. I suppose that, in her eyes, she had. I wondered why… she had never even liked me to begin with. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my thoughts before I answered.

"Is it really you?" She asked, her voice breathy and uncertain. She looked torn between absolute joy, surprise and fury as her eyes pierced James'. I stepped one pace away from her and felt James' arms wind around my waist securely. I leaned back into him, feeling confident within his embrace.

"Hello, Rosalie."


	10. Chapter 10

_**Rosalie**_

Ugh. These gatherings of Aro's were such a waste of time. Still, he had guilted Carlisle into confirming that at least one member of our coven would be in attendance. I was the unlucky one chosen.

"_This is asinine." I fumed, "I refuse. I was getting so close in Berlin, I could feel it. Please, Carlisle. Dressing up and going to kiss ass with Aro isn't going to get her back." _

_I felt a small gust of air. I turned, catching Edward's frustrated expression before he whisked himself up the stairs. I heard his door close softly. Turning back to Carlisle, I could see the same pain on his face. The same pain we all felt since that horrible day. _

"_We're all trying, Rosalie." He said softly, rubbing his eyes instinctively, "And I know we've gotten close. But Aro personally sent me the invitation. Edward outright refuses to go. He can barely function, let alone pacify Aro. Alice is having enough troubles with her visions, and Jasper wouldn't go without her. I need to go into work to keep up appearances, and Esme wouldn't feel right without me there." _

_I knew he was right, but I was still irrationally angry. Along with the rest of my family, I had traveled far and wide over the years, scouring the earth for Bella. I didn't want to interrupt my search for something so stupid, so trivial. _

"_Rosalie, please. You know the Volturi are powerful. Maybe something's changed, maybe they've heard or seen something. Vampires from around the world will be there. I can't think of a better opportunity to try to see if anyone's seen her." I paused, considering this. He was right, it was worth a try. Still, I wasn't looking forward to prancing around for the Volturi. Not at all. _

As I stepped in front of the mirror in the hotel, I merely surveyed my appearance. There was a time that I would have savored this part: watching my hair immaculately placed, face perfect, dress divine. Now, I had different priorities, ones more important than my vanity.

"You look nice." The gruff voice from behind me made me smile. From anyone else, that would be an insult, but I knew Emmett's "nice" was someone else's "the epitome of beauty". My husband was one unique creature.

"Thank you. Are you ready to go?" I observed his black tux approvingly, glancing up and chuckling as I caught sight of his hair. He had tried to slick it back. I shook my head, "Wash that oil out, I want to see your curls." I smiled seductively and he rushed to the bathroom, most likely sticking his head in the faucet. I smoothly glided to answer the brief knock on our door.

"Hey. Ready to be tortured?" A clear, trilling voice asked. I smirked. I did enjoy Tanya's attempts at humor. She had agreed to tag along with us, representing the Denali coven. I had grown closer to her over the past few years. She'd accompanied me on several trips looking for Bella. I knew she still felt guilty over Bella running away; Jasper confirmed as much.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I murmured, watching as Emmett emerged from the bathroom, grinning widely, his curls free of the disgusting gunk. I took his offered arm and we departed for Aro's party.

We arrived within minutes, thanks to Aro's knack for picking locations near hotels. Not only was it a courtesy for his guests, but the hotels also provided a nice, flowing buffet of human chattel. I rolled my eyes at the thought of his ingenuity.

As we arrived in the ballroom, I immediately started scanning the crowd for Aro. Better to get the pleasantries over with so I could survey the guests, see if anyone knew anything. We found Aro almost immediately. His eyes practically lit up when he saw us. Creepy old vampire.

"Greetings, Aro." I said smoothly, a smile on my face. Emmett nodded from behind me, and Tanya echoed my greeting to my left. He chuckled before grasping mine and Tanya's hands in turn, leaving cold kisses on our wrists. I restrained my face from showing how repulsive the act was.

"Rosalie, Tanya. You both look lovely." Aro's crinkly face pulled into a smile. After we thanked him, I tried to pull him aside.

"I was wondering if you've heard anything…" I began. Aro brought a cool hand to my face.

"Rosalie, I'd rather business be dealt with on another night. Mingle. I'm sure you'll have a pleasant time." He smirked at me then, before retreating to another group. What was going on? Aro wasn't usually this annoyingly vague…

"No luck?" Emmett asked from behind me. I shook my head dejectedly. Tanya scoffed before her amber eyes widened slightly. I ignored her as I began to peruse the crowed.

I heard a muffled "Shit!" and turned to her, annoyed.

"What is it? See a past conquest?" I said, bitingly. I wasn't usually so rude to Tanya, but I was trying to concentrate. I reconsidered as I saw her expression. She looked shocked and almost… happy? She turned to me slowly, only saying one word.

"Bella."

I whipped around to look in the direction that she was gazing. I immediately became frustrated. Where? I didn't see her. If Tanya was fucking with me…

Oh. _Oh._

I couldn't restrain the gasp that escaped from my lips. I hadn't even recognized her at first. She was gorgeous. So different from the fragile human I had treated so terribly. Her features were delicate and smooth, her figure painted in a dark blue gown. If she hadn't been brunette, I might have had to take a closer look to make sure it was really her.

All of the sudden, I felt slightly dazed. I had been anticipating finding Bella for years. I had had daydreams of rescuing her from a dark room, breaking her chains and returning her to Edward's waiting arms. Bringing her home to make him whole again. To make our family whole again.

I instinctively started towards her, when I noticed another vampire looking at me. James. Oh, revenge was sweet. He seemed to recognize me at once. He quickly turned to Bella, moving his lips so quickly I could barely tell he was speaking. He looked at me again, panic in his eyes as I drew closer. She turned, asking him something. She looked irritated. Good. Maybe she'll help me string him up.

I felt Emmett's hulking presence behind me. "Call Carlisle." I hissed over my back. I felt him retreat quickly. James looked absolutely petrified now as I purposefully stalked towards them.

I came up directly behind her and stood quietly. James was a mere two feet away. It took all the self-control I had not to gut him right there. I paused before speaking softly.

"Bella?" I asked, my voice purposefully soft and calming. Who knew what horrors James had inflicted on her over the years? I had to be careful, cautious. She turned around slowly, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me. It was her. She was here, she was beautiful, she was safe. And she was looking at me like I was an alien.

"Is it really you?" I said, attempting to draw her into speaking to me. I made eye contact with James, then. He flinched at the amount of hatred I must have exuded. _Just you wait, mother fucker, that's just a preview. _She seemed to recover from her surprise before taking a slow step away from me. Into his arms. _What the hell? _

"Hello, Rosalie." Even her voice was different. It was smoother, more refined. And it sounded tired. I struggled to find the right words. Bella was brainwashed, she had to be. I couldn't let her leave. I had to get her home.

"Where have you been? We've been searching." I pleaded, trying to focus only on her. She closed her eyes and wrinkled her forehead slightly when I mentioned "we". I noticed James flinch before tightening his arms around her. He slowly narrowed his eyes, sizing me up. I raised a lone eyebrow, unimpressed.

"I- I know…" She stuttered. I almost cried in relief. So there was still a part of Bella the girl that lived on. How poetic that it had to be her awkwardness. I decided to try a different tactic.

"Bella, please. I've been looking for so long. We all miss you so much. Why have you been running?" I noticed she flinched again when I mentioned "we". Alright, so safe to say that Edward was a sensitive subject. Better to stick to the heartstrings I knew I could manipulate, "Alice has been inconsolable. Carlisle and Esme are miserable."

A frown appeared on her fair face and she looked down. If she had been human, tears would have been silently tracking down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry." She murmured softly, before raising her eyes to meet mine. I examined the color with disdain. Contacts. Does that mean she hunts? He has her hunting humans? _Oh, Bella… _

My heart began to ache with pity for her. What had she gone through? I slowly reached for her arm, but James yanked her back with a growl. She looked surprised, her eyes wide as he shoved her behind him, baring his teeth at me. I bit back a snarl, beginning to crouch into an attack.

I felt a soothing hand touch my back, urging me upright again. I shook off the momentary rage and allowed Emmett's large hands to guide me closer to James, and behind him, Bella.

Bella peeked around James, muttering something I couldn't hear before walking around him. He watched her with alarm, eyeing every vampire in the vicinity as if they were a threat. She slowly moved to Emmett, glancing at him with no expression on her face. Then, she launched into his arms. He laughed suddenly, a loud guffaw as he wound his arms around her waist, spinning her. Confused but pleased, I watched with a smile. Maybe Emmett could convince her better than I could.

I slowly approached James as he watched, Bella began talking to Emmett at a rapid pace. He looked tense, ready to spring. I paused, only inches away from him.

"You couldn't have thought you'd keep her forever." I said, glaring at him.

"She is mine." His voice was low and rough. I could recognize the trace of cockiness that I remembered, but also something else. Fear.

"Not anymore." I said, "And when she realizes how much you've stolen from her, she'll be the first one volunteering to set you aflame." I leaned in, exposing my pristine white teeth, "And I'll be second in line."

_**Emmett**_

"Should I…?" Tanya drifted off, nodding towards Rose barreling towards James and Bella. I shook my head no before taking off after my wife. The last thing we should do is cause a scene here, in front of everyone. But we had to get Bella out. _Shit, shit, shit._ The little human turned vampire was here- the one we'd been looking for. Rose instantly recognized my presence and told me to call Carlisle, not even breaking her stride.

I sighed, hoping she would have enough sense not to decapitate James on the spot. I briskly walked to the exterior door of the ballroom, dialing Carlisle's cell number. He answered on the first ring.

"Carlisle?" I asked, trepidation already in my tone. How was I going to handle this?

"Emmett, what's going on? Alice said she couldn't see you or the girls anymore, what's the matter?" Fuck, I hadn't thought of Alice's visions. They'd been so unreliable lately, I'd almost started to discount them.

"Um, who's there with you?" No way could Edward overhear this. He'd probably try to run here.

"Everyone." He replied, sounding puzzled.

"Could you please go outside for a moment? I have an, er, private issue I'd like to talk to you about."

"…Alright, just a moment." I heard Carlisle murmur apologies. Ten seconds passed.

"Can they hear you?"

"No. Now what's going on?"

"Bella's here."

"Oh, God, in Italy? You saw her?"

"No, _here_ here, as in at the ball." I grasped the back of my neck, stressed, "…with James."

Carlisle heaved a ragged sigh, "Is she alright?"

I shrugged even though he couldn't see the gesture, "She looks fine. Perfect. But she's with _him_, and she doesn't exactly look unhappy about it…"

"I see." Carlisle said, his voice heavy, "This will take some delicacy, then. If Bella's become attached to James, we're going to have to be subtle and not scare her off. She'll just run to him if we smother her."

"Rose is talking to them now."

"Go check on them. Try to keep her there, keep her talking. At the least, find out where she's staying, and ask if she plans on staying there." He spoke so quickly a human would've heard a hum.

"Carlisle, what about Edward? I know if he finds out nothing will stop him from coming here, but that might just make her run."

"I agree. I'm going to have Alice and Jasper fly over there tomorrow to help you and Rosalie. I think it would be prudent for Tanya to fly home, though. Under the circumstances, I don't want to risk Bella meeting her and getting the wrong impression."

"How will you keep this from Edward?" I asked.

"We probably won't be able to for long." Carlisle said, his voice grim, "But I'll tell Alice and Jasper that you called because of something at the Volturi ball. They'll find out the truth from you when they arrive. For the time being, I'll keep the truth from Edward and Esme… Ah, Edward's coming out, watch what you say."

"Oh…" I heard a muffled exchange before Carlisle got back on the line, "Emmett? Edward wishes to speak with you. I'll tell Alice and Jasper to pack immediately to assist you."

"Hello." I almost squeaked. How was I going to keep this from him? _Oh, fuck, he can't read my thoughts over the phone, can he? _

"Emmett, what's going on?" My brother's voice was hard and rough from lack of use. He rarely talked to anyone anymore except about traveling or theories about Bella. His entire vocabulary mostly consisted of yes, no, and grunts.

"We have a small issue here. We're not in any danger, but Carlisle thinks Jazz and Alice would be able to smooth things over." I lied smoothly, feeling a pang of guilt. But I had to; if Edward knew the truth, he would fly over here and pull Bella back by her hair if he had to. And I didn't want him to have to see the love of his life in another man's arms. I winced picturing having to see Rose in such a way.

"And you can't tell me anything else?" He sounded skeptical.

"Nope." I popped the "P", hoping he'd get bored with the conversation and go back to brooding.

"Alright. Good luck with whatever it is you're doing." The line went dead. I breathed an unnecessary sigh of relief before making a beeline towards where Rose, James and Bella stood. I groaned as I saw James shove Bella behind him, snarling at my wife. I chuckled darkly, almost wanting to let him get a taste of her vengeance. Luckily, my conscience kicked in and I reached her in time, gently calming her and pulling her upright.

I smiled as I saw Bella peek out from behind James. I couldn't help it. I barely knew her, but finding her when we least expected it was such an amazing find. I tilted my head to the side as she walked around James, ignoring his pleading eyes. She suddenly catapulted into my arms. I laughed loudly and boisterously, spinning slightly as I held her tight. This girl who has done so much for my family.

She leaned back a bit, seeming embarrassed, "I don't usually do that, I just… I don't know." She shrugged, a smile on her lips, "I haven't seen you in so long."

I smiled back, tugging lightly on the end of one of her brunette locks, "Mutual, kiddo." I could tell she was already much more comfortable around me than she was around Rose. I smugly looked over in her direction to gloat, but she was busy whispering threats to James. I'd have to take my turn later. I turned back to Bella and saw she was glancing in the same direction as me, frowning.

"Are you okay?" I asked. She looked back at me, seeming surprised. She looked like she struggled to find an answer.

"Yes." She said, smiling slightly, "I'm alright."

"Tell me more about you. What have you been doing for so long?"

"Mostly avoiding your family." She said quietly. I groaned.

"Bella, we need to have a long talk." She nodded.

"Do you live around here?" I asked. She nodded again, looking apprehensive.

"We live in an apartment about three blocks away." _We_. Shit. She's more attached than I thought. This wouldn't be easy.

"I know seeing us is a lot to handle, but can we please come see you tomorrow? Or meet you somewhere?" I turned on the Cullen charm, practically begging. She bit her lip before her eyes flashed with a sort of resolution.

"Yes, okay." I held out my arm and a pen. She quickly scribbled her cell phone number on my skin before turning away. I caught her arm gently.

"Bella? Please... still be around tomorrow. You owe us that much."

She sighed, somber. "I know. I'll see you tomorrow." She walked away and extended her hand to James, who snatched it. I could tell it was killing Rosalie not to take Bella with us then and there. Bella turned and waved goodbye before James put his other arm around her waist, ushering her out of the ballroom.

"So? Do we have a plan?" Rose asked, her eyes dancing with life and excitement. I shrugged.

"Not yet. We'll have to make one as we go." She smiled eagerly before rushing over to Tanya to update her on what had transpired. I looked up towards Aro's high ceilings.

_The search is over._


	11. Chapter 11

_**Bella**_

I stared out of the window, watching the dark sky. It looked like rain. This night had been bizarre, yet not totally unexpected. I knew that the Cullens would eventually find me, and I was thankful it was not _him_ who did the finding… I wondered what Emmett and Rose wanted to say. They probably want to make sure that James isn't holding me hostage. I smiled wryly. How silly. If I wanted to leave, he couldn't stop me. And there wasn't any way Rose and Emmett could force me to go.

I tore my gaze away from the window. The entire drive home, James clung fiercely to my hand, not saying a word. I spared flitting glances at his face, observing how angry he looked. His blue-tinted eyes were tight and his jaw seemed to be ticking.

"Pull over." He commanded, and the driver instantly screeched to a stop, perhaps sensing James' mood and not wanting to fall victim to his current rage. I sat still, looking forward. I knew he was worried about me, but I wanted to clear my past. We had been running for so long. I didn't want to run anymore. He let go of my hand and threw open the car door nearest him, taking off into an alley adjacent to the street. I gasped, rising to follow. What was he doing?

I heard a muffled shriek echo down the dank alley, followed by a growl that I recognized all to well. My mouth agape in shock, I bolted to the end of the alley. He spun towards me, a tiny slip of a girl in his arms. She couldn't be older than fifteen. She let out a deep and guttural moan as rivulets of blood streamed down her neck, onto her simple dress and to the cool ground beneath us. She extended a shaking hand to me as James took another bite from her jugular. "Non…" She whispered, "Capisco…" I translated: _I don't understand._ I watched as her eyes fluttered closed, and I could hear her sputtering heart beat slow before stopping completely.

I stared, appalled as my mate dropped the girl's body carelessly against the stone wall, as if disposing of a tissue. He stared me down, licking the fresh blood that had escaped around his lip.

"Why?" I gasped, falling to my knees, "Why would you do this?"

James took a step towards me, squinting his eyes, "This is me. This is us. We're _vampires_. This is what we do, who we are…" He stopped, bending down so his face was an inch away from mine, "This is me."

"No." I shook my head, refusing this, "This isn't you."

"Yes, it is." He sighed, placing a gentle hand on my cheek. I shied away from his touch, frowning, "It is. I hunt. I track. I kill. I'm a predator, Bella, and so are you."

"I can't hunt like you. I can't take someone's life just to sate my appetite-"

"And you're going to what? Live off of blood bags forever? Jesus, Bella, I put up with your sensitivity because I love you. But you have to know you're ignoring all tradition, all of the natural ways. They are prey. I hunt them every night. I know you know this. I know it bothers you." I shook my head in denial, and he smiled slightly at my blatant lie.

"It does. I can't change, Bella. I can't be a vegetarian do-gooder-"

"I don't want you to be!" I shouted, angrily taking a step towards him, "I never said I did. Just because I choose one path doesn't mean I want to dictate yours."

"But can you accept this? Can you love this?" He asked, his eyes harsh as they gazed at me from under his light eyelashes. He gestured to the girl's corpse, trying to force me to look at it.

"This isn't about you or feeding. This is about you thinking I'll go crawling back to the Cullens." I fumed, "And I hate that you murdered this girl to make a point! It's callous and-"

"It is! And I do want to know." He said, venom in his tone, "Can you love me like you loved him? Can I ever compare? He spent short months knowing you. I've stayed by your side for years." He laid his head in his hands, kneeling back down onto the street.

I felt my heart jump to my throat. "You know how I feel. I… I don't know if I ever can." James scoffed, and I fell to my knees, taking his face in my hands and forcing him to look at me, "He _broke_ me. Understand? I thought he was my forever, and as soon as I was gone for a few days he found someone new. I can't trust like I did before." I choked back a dry sob, "I can't."

"Try." He said, "Try saying it."

"It won't be true." I said, sadly, "I can't mean it."

"I don't care." He breathed into my face, removing my hands from his and holding them tightly in his own, "Lie to me." I looked into his eyes, and immediately wished I hadn't. The pure devotion in his gaze made me feel unworthy, selfish. I wanted to make myself feel for him, but I could only give him the next best thing.

"I love you." I said softly, looking into his eyes, "I love you."

He smiled slightly. "Does that feel so wrong to say?"

It did. The words tasted wrong, sour on my tongue.

"No." I lied, and his face brightened instantly. I backtracked, "But I still-"

"I know." He pressed a finger to my lips. I sighed, looking down. I had gotten street grime all over my dress. He helped me to my feet before backing me into the alley wall. I emitted a quick breath in surprise as he pinned me, kissing me slow and passionately. His lips delicately brushed against mine as his tongue danced, drawing mine in, teasing. I tasted the fresh blood on his tongue. I shied away, remembering the girl's cries, but he gripped the hair at the base of my neck tightly, forcing it into my mouth. I gave in, relishing the sweet taste while trying to forget where it came from.

He nipped my lip affectionately before he leaned away, satisfied. "Let's go home." He said, extending his arm. I nodded, taking it. I couldn't look back to the alley. I mentally apologized to the girl. _I don't understand, either. _

_**James**_

I was quiet as we returned home. She immediately retreated to the shower, shutting the bathroom door behind her. I paused outside the door, hurt. She only closed the door when she was either contemplative or angry… I wasn't sure which option I'd prefer.

I sat on the bed, cradling my head in my hands. We shouldn't have gone. If I'd let her keep us home, none of this would have happened. We would be talking, laughing, fucking. Like we do every night. Except now, I didn't know where we stood.

I knew the day would come that this threat would present itself. I knew enough to know that Bella had misunderstood seeing Edward with another woman. I didn't see it as a tragedy. I saw it as a gift. When I had let her leave the car that day, I'd been pondering my options. I thought of leaving for a few months before returning to claim her, whether she liked it or not. I had her scent, so the possibility of her evading me was nonexistent (and, frankly, humorous). She'd interrupted my thoughts as I heard her running back towards me, the Cullens on her tail.

I wasn't any more prepared to let her go now than I was then. Yet somehow I had risked something today. I'd tried to get through to her. To show her who I was. I'd already changed so much for her, mostly in terms of stability. But I had to show her I was still a tracker; still wild.

I've known that I loved her for so long. It was never something I questioned or even bothered to deny. It would sure as hell be easier not to love her, but my heart gave me no choice in the matter. My traitorous heart that I'd thought had been dead for so long. I chuckled darkly.

I knew I loved her, but did I love her enough to let her go? I already knew the answer. No. I loved her as she was: as mine. I couldn't bear to see her with anyone else, let alone _him_. I couldn't exist without her. Simple as that. There was no way I could survive if she left me. The wild tracker in me knew the solution to this potential quandary: don't allow her to leave. It's a matter of survival. Eliminate the threats, keep what you need to survive. And I unquestionably needed Bella, just like I needed blood.

I'd let her have her little meeting. Let them try to convince her. Whether they do or not, it's of no consequence. I have their scents. If she doesn't come home, I will hunt and destroy them. If she does come, their fate is still sealed.

She exited the bathroom, a fluffy white towel wrapped snugly around her torso. She paused, seeming surprised to find me sitting on the bed, waiting. She opened her mouth as if to say something before quickly shutting it again. She turned away from me, walking briskly to the dresser. I sighed, coming up from behind her and placing my hands gently on her shoulders. She stiffened, her fingers tightening almost imperceptibly against the wood of the dresser.

"I'm sorry." I breathed softly, trailing my lips across her the back of her soft neck delicately as I spoke, "I overreacted. I just don't want to lose you." It was honest, at least. Misleading, since I wouldn't let her be lost, but honest nonetheless. She softened against me, her neck leaning back against my lips. I smirked at such an easy victory.

She spun around within a millisecond, catching my cocky grin. She hissed lightly. I kept smiling unrepentantly, although it dimmed a bit when I noticed she still clutched her towel to her chest. She squinted her gorgeous eyes at me a bit, and I indulged her, stepping back with a smile. She frowned.

"I'm sorry, too… I'm just distracted. Stressing about tomorrow." She said, biting her lower lip. I loved when she did that. It was only second best to biting it myself.

"Nervous why?" I enquired, moving to sit back on the bed. She hesitated before looking angry at me again.

"You know I'm not going anywhere, right?" She asked, as if asking if I knew the sky was blue. I shrugged slightly and her face fell. She stepped purposefully towards me before dropping the towel. My eyes widened before skimming involuntarily down her body. Slim but curved in all of the right places, her pale skin flickering in the candlelight. I looked up at her beautiful face, her beautiful eyes.

"Take them out." I said, my voice dry and rasping. She drew her delicate brows together in confusion. "The lenses. Please." Although I only put mine in during daylight hours that I may encounter humans, Bella wore her tinted contacts almost constantly. She nodded her acquiescence before I reached to gently push her hands away. I leaned closer to her, one arm winding its way around her small, bare waist. I pulled her forward suddenly so that she was flush against my body. Her breathing instinctively quickened. I smiled as I noticed her almost panting. Over the years I'd learned to play her body like a violin. We knew exactly what to buttons to push.

I leaned my face down, breathing in the scent of her breath before reaching my free hand to her face. Quick as lightning I flicked each lens from both of her wide eyes. I smiled in wonder as I looked into her deep burgundy eyes. She shifted against my arm uncertainly, looking down. I tipped her chin up with my hand.

"You are absolutely the most devastatingly beautiful creature I have ever laid my eyes upon." I spoke slowly, forcing her eyes to meet mine. She moved to shake her head and I growled before sweeping her up into my arms, bridal style.

"How many times do I have to say it?" I muttered, laying her down on overly plush duvet. I covered her body with mine, pinning her to the bed as I gently grasped her wrists. She rolled her eyes before looking off to the side, as if considering.

"Hmm… A few more times." I growled playfully and dove for her throat as she giggled. She slowly started to unbutton my shirt, arching into me as I nipped her throat with blunt teeth. I wasn't even inside of her yet and I was radiating with joy.

I couldn't let her leave.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Bella**_

The nasal, shrill ring caught my attention from where I lay in James' arms. I sighed, reaching to close my cell phone. I caught a muffled snort from James as he leaned to burrow into my shoulder. I rolled my eyes but couldn't restrain a smile. Even though vampires don't sleep, I still liked to take it easy at night: lay in bed, read, think, close my eyes. Its relaxing. I even set an alarm. Yet another habit that James thought was both crazy and endearing.

I slowly rose from bed, stretching my arms over my head. I could feel him watching me. It worried me that he was concerned about me not coming home. I had spent the better part of last night trying to prove his worries were baseless. It was almost insulting that he thought one chat with the Cullens would magically convince me to abandon our life together.

Still, I could see how insecurity could creep in. I'd thought of Victoria many times over the years, jealous of the companionship that she and James had shared; But he always assured me that he never loved her. I sighed, picking up a comb and softly running it through my hair. If I felt those twinges of jealousy over someone James hadn't even loved, it must not compare to how Edward made him feel.

Familiar frustrations took hold in my stomach; I felt queasy. What was it that made Edward's name such a catalyst in me? After all of these years, I still felt so much from thinking two syllables. Hurt and anger, yes, but they are unequivocally tangled with love. And that love makes me hate him all the more. I wanted to give James the part of me that he'd never had, but my heart was too weak to risk it. Maybe in time.

I entertained the thought of seeing Edward again. I hoped that Emmett and Rosalie had the good sense not to drop that anvil on me today, but who knew? I had to prepare myself for the possibility, but I didn't want to. I mostly feared my body's reaction. As a human, I was drawn to Edward, like a moth to a flame. I hadn't felt a trace of that magnetism since… I hoped I wouldn't again. It made me feel too much, it was almost to the point of taking away my free will. Maybe it was a human-Bella trait that would no longer exist. Hopefully. Please.

I got up and padded softly to the fridge, opening a remaining donor bag with my teeth and drinking it cold. It was less appetizing this way, but I didn't want to go through the effort of heating it. I heard James rise from the bed and turn on the shower. Before I could contemplate my next move, my phone rang again. This time, it wasn't an alarm. I groaned lightly before walking over to answer it. I picked it up distastefully before pressing the button to answer.

"Hello?" I asked politely. As if I didn't know who was calling. The only other person who ever called was James, and I was fairly confident he was otherwise occupied.

"Hey Bella." I had to grin at Emmett's tone of voice. It was so conversational, as if there was no drama or strife to be had in this little situation of ours. _I wish. _

"Hi. Where do you want to meet up?" I decided to get straight to business. The sooner I get this over with, the sooner they'll be out of my life.

"There's a little café right outside the hotel near the ballroom. Do you know it?" Emmett sounded apprehensive. I rubbed my temples, dreading whatever ploy they were going to try to get me to leave James. I was exhausted already.

"Yes. Is now alright?" I said briskly, eyes scanning the room for my purse.

"Sure. And, uh, if you don't mind, can you come without, er…" I laughed aloud. I couldn't help it. If the pre-conversation phone call was this awkward… woo.

"No, I'm coming alone." I answered his unspoken question. He cleared his throat, probably embarrassed.

"Alright. See you in a bit."

"Goodbye." I hung up, sighing. _I probably shouldn't go to this meeting naked. That's a start._ As I turned to pick out an outfit, I ran smack into James, his hair still damp from the shower. I jumped lightly before scowling.

"You scared me! How long have you been lurking?" I teased, leaning up to kiss him. He kissed me back softly before withdrawing to look me in the eyes.

"A while." He said. I almost flinched. _It is so sick that even simple phrases remind me of him… _

"I guessed. I'm going to the café near the hotel. It's daylight. Even though it's cloudy, I don't think they'll tackle me and carry me back to Forks." I tried to joke. He frowned. I pouted apologetically, "I'm really nervous, ignore my stupidity." That made him crack a smile, albeit a tight one.

"You don't have to go…" He murmured lowly, raising a hand lovingly to my cheek. I nodded, raising one of my own to caress his.

"Yes, I do. I need to end this. I'm tired of running from them." I was so incredibly tired. Just the thought of leaving somewhere just because we felt like it as opposed to fleeing from a Cullen was appealing.

I bypassed James and went to the closet, quickly finding a casual, forest-green dress to wear. As I slipped on a pair of sandals, James tossed a small package at me. I regarded it curiously. A new box of contacts. I'd forgotten he'd taken my other ones out last night.

"I thought they'd make you feel more comfortable." He said, shrugging at my questioning glance. My heart warmed at the thought. He was always doing these kind little favors to make life easier. I thanked him before going to the bathroom mirror to put them in.

I stood, perusing my reflection as I set the lenses in place. He knew me too well. Last night had been a reminder of just how uncomfortable I was showing my natural dark red eyes. It didn't help that I often had daydreams of myself with golden eyes. It was a fleeting fantasy that my unconscious enjoyed entertaining, mostly to purely to torture me. I couldn't help but blame the Cullens for my alienation from other vampires. Maybe if I hadn't known there were other ways, maybe if I'd thought that vampires must feed and kill to survive. But I did know, and it carried over to my vampire existence.

As I walked away and towards the door, I found my purse lying on a table by the bed. I picked it up and strode towards the door.

"Bella?" James' voice called out to me. I turned around, smiling slightly.

"Don't worry, I'll be back in an hour or so." I said, hugging him close to me. He held me tightly.

"Call me if anything goes wrong, or if you need…" I cut him off by pressing a soft kiss against his lips.

"I will. Wait for me? I think I'll need some TLC after this." I said, rolling my eyes slightly. The corner of his mouth quirked up in the hint of a smile. I brushed my hand gently against his cheek.

"I love you." I barely heard it as I turned to go. I stopped, contemplating turning around.

I settled on whispering, "I know." I opened the door and closed it behind me, letting the familiar sadness envelope me. He deserved to be loved. Maybe after this meeting I'd put enough behind me to be able to let myself love him.

I let myself walk slightly quicker than humanly possible as I headed towards the café. Anxiety was taking its toll; I barely noticed the looks of appreciation or catcalls as I went. Usually I would be chagrined and feel a trace embarrassed; today I had bigger fish to fry.

As I stepped into the café, a bright little bell rigged on top of the door jingled. I glared at it darkly.

"Bella!" I heard Emmett's gruff voice call out to me from my left. I turned instinctively and smiled before freezing in place. There at the table sat not only Rosalie, gorgeous as ever, and Emmett, grinning nervously. Two more vampires were seated at the table. Jasper, looking curious and somewhat surprised; but Alice was the one who made me freeze. The pure excitement and joy on her face left me speechless and a little panicked. I had prepared (as much as possible) for this, including imagining Edward's presence. I hadn't imagined Alice would be here.

She smiled brightly before standing up as if to come and greet me. Jasper clasped onto her hand, holding her back. From my view of a massive ten feet away, I smiled, grateful that he must have sensed my emotions. He nodded. I approached slowly, reevaluating how I would act. She seemed calmer when I got there. She sat down, her eyes still excited and almost glowing.

_Here goes nothing_. I sat at the empty seat and regarded them all as casually as I could. They looked at me as if I wasn't real… like I was too good to be true. It made me feel immense guilt. I should've taken care of this much sooner, but my pride and hurt hadn't let me.

I wondered what I should say to break the silence.

"Hi."

_**Alice**_

I'd been extremely annoyed when Carlisle told me that Rosalie and Emmett needed us to travel to Italy. Was it really that dire of a problem? Yet Carlisle's somber face had kept me from arguing.

The last years had been confusing and stressful for all of us to bear. My visions had become spotty shortly after that last phone call from James. I could see flashes of Bella and James over the years, but never a concrete vision. It was new and almost unbelievable. Edward suffered along with me; he would catch various pieces I would pick up, all featuring James and Bella in sensual positions, before shutting himself up in his room again.

My visions had never failed me in such a way. It was both frightening and disconcerting. Never before had I struggled so hard to see the future than for Bella. When Jasper and I arrived at the airport, I was understandably irritated.

"_Well, we're here." I fumed, "What's the big deal that you couldn't tell us over the phone?" Jasper placed a calming hand on my shoulder, and I immediately felt calm and then guilt for my attitude. My unreliable visions had soured my mood lately, and my siblings and husband didn't deserve my wrath. _

_I noticed then that Rosalie and Emmett looked both happy and anxious. I glanced at Jasper, and his eyes were squinted in curiosity- I wondered what emotions he sensed in them to make him react that way. "What's going on?" I asked again. Rosalie took a deep breath. I almost strangled her. "You don't need to breathe…" I hissed through my teeth, my fresh calm and patience wearing thin. _

"_Bella's here." Emmett announced. I shot him an incredulous look. _

"_What do you mean, here? What? How?" The questions came out as quick as bullets. _

"_In Italy. With… him. She's okay, but… we're meeting with her later. We thought you and Jazz could help." Rosalie explained, looking plaintive. I could hardly believe my ears. Bella was here? Within reach? It seemed unreal. _

"_And you couldn't tell us this because…?" Jasper asked, raising his eyebrows. Rose and Emmett both looked abashed. _

"_Carlisle agreed. Edward wouldn't- no, couldn't- be rational in this situation. It took us six years to find her, and it was by accident that we did. We can't risk her running again." Rosalie said. It made sense, but my heart ached for my brother. If he only knew how close his love was. _

"_Okay. Let's get ready." I said firmly. My siblings and Jasper looked at me in surprise. Jasper smiled. It had been a while since I felt what I was currently feeling. Hope. _

Now here we were, sitting in some small Italian café. Ordinarily, I would be mentally (or verbally, if I was especially ambitious) criticizing outfits. Today I was focused on our cumulative goal as a family. Get Bella back. We decided that Emmett and I would stay and talk to her while Jasper and Rosalie would excuse themselves. After the encounter last night, she had responded well to Emmett, and we didn't want anyone to make her uncomfortable like Rosalie seemed to. We decided to have Jasper leave so she would know her emotions weren't being manipulated.

We were all tense as we waited. I heard the tinkling bell of the door, and my eyes widened as I looked towards it. She was there. Emmett called out to her loudly. I gaped as she turned. Rosalie hadn't been exaggerating; she was absolutely gorgeous. I couldn't restrain my joy as I unconsciously stood up to go and greet her, but Jazz lightly clasped my hand, warning me to be cautious. I saw her see all of us and pause before closing the distance.

She sat in the empty seat at the round table between Emmett and I. Silence commandeered the table before she spoke softly but clearly.

"Hi."

_Hi? Is she shitting me? _

I couldn't wait anymore. "Bella." I said, my lower lip quivering of its own accord, "Can I hug you?" She paused before nodding, her expression sad and a little confused. I launched myself at her, almost knocking over her chair. I wound my arms around her cool neck. She patted my back awkwardly before hugging me back.

"We missed you." I said as I pulled back, going to sit in my own chair. She still appeared almost spellbound.

"I… I missed you too." She said quietly, almost as if to herself. Jasper and Rosalie stood up.

"We're going to look around the city. Haven't been here for a century or so." Jasper said smoothly, winking at Bella. She smiled, but a twinkle in her eye let me know that she knew what we were doing. _Well, excuse us for trying to make you comfortable! _

Once they left, I honed in on Bella. She looked towards the ceiling briefly before looking back at me, dread apparent on her face. So she knew something was coming. Good.

"Why won't you come home?" I asked gently. Better to get to the point. She nodded as if expecting this question.

"I can't. I don't belong there anymore." The firmness and honesty of her answer made me want to cry. She really believed we didn't want her or care for her. Suddenly my mind flashed to the misunderstanding from years before.

"Bella? Edward loves you." She immediately shook her head and I sighed, "He does. You misunderstood what happened that day. Tanya was there- she's a friend from Denali- and she came to help us find you. Yeah, they hugged, but Edward has never thought of her in a romantic way."

She sat silently, her mouth opening and closing a few times. Emmett gently grasped one of her hands that was digging into the wood of the table.

"Okay." She said, her voice raspy, "I understand… but it doesn't change anything."

"What do you mean it doesn't change anything? You love him, he loves you. Go back to him, he's never stopped looking for you." I pleaded.

Bella shook her head. "Things changed. I changed. I've made a commitment to James…" She drifted off, her head falling to her hands.

I asked, somewhat horrified, "Do you… love him?" She looked defensive immediately, which told me all I needed to know. _No._

"I care for him, very much." She said, avoiding the question, "And I told him I'd be back within an hour. I'm sorry I've been running all these years… I should've been honest and upfront, but I was afraid." She let go of Emmett's hand, pushing back in her chair as if to leave. Desperation took hold of me.

"Don't go, Bella. Please." I pleaded, leaning towards her. Emmett echoed me to her left. She bit her lip lightly.

"I have to. I'm sorry." She stood up to leave.

_The smell was rank and musky. Rosalie's blond hair flew back as she practically flew towards him. He laughed, dodging her before grabbing her shoulder and swinging her into the door. She cried out as Jasper growled menacingly. He pinned the other male on a shiny counter before quickly cracking off an arm. The male howled in pain, and Jasper shouted to Rosalie, "Get the matches!" _

My eyes zoned in as the vision left me. It was the most vivid one I've had in years. I gasped as I realized that I recognized the male from the meadow.

"Bella, do you and James have an apartment?" I asked quickly, panic building inside.

She nodded. I groaned, turning to Emmett.

"They're at the apartment. We need to go now."

"At my apartment?" Bella shouted, the café turning to watch her, "What are they doing there?" I tried to keep the fear out of my expression, but she saw it. "Oh, God." She said before taking off, barely keeping up human pretences as she sped out of the café. Emmett and I exchanged a grim look before we followed.

_**James **_

I anxiously counted the seconds since she had left. I paced the floors of the apartment, feeling angry and weak. A knock on the door made me pause. Bella never knocked. I swung open the door, grinning at the site before me.

"Aw, missed me?"

_**Jasper **_

After leaving the café, Rosalie was restless and worried. Her emotions began to affect me; I tried to calm her, but she was too wound up.

"I want to see him. I want to convince him." Rosalie said before confidently walking down a street to our South. I grasped her elbow, turning her around. She growled and clicked her teeth at me. I sighed, unimpressed.

"We need to stick to the plan. Alice and Emmett will convince her."

"I'm going to convince him he'd better not guilt her into staying." She said. I could practically taste the confidence and assurance- she was going to do it, with or without me. She took off again, following his scent. I contemplated calling Alice, but decided not to bother her. Hopefully I could talk Rosalie out of this before we reached James.

We reached a prestigious-looking building within minutes. Rosalie went directly to the elevator, pressing the button for the top floor. I got in beside her, attempting to sway her decision.

"If we go here now, Bella will think we tricked her- lured her away so we could intimidate James. That'll just make her mad, Rose. C'mon." She shook her head stubbornly as the elevator dinged our arrival.

She stepped forward with a purpose, knocking on the door. I stood behind her, upset and worried that this could ruin our plan.

He answered the door with a smirk and a sarcastic greeting, causing Rose to practically raise her hackles. She stormed into the room, bumping his shoulder on her way. I followed, keeping my distance. He laughed before closing the door behind him.

"What brings you to my humble abode?" He asked, bravado intact. I glared as I sensed his emotions. He was angry and worried with a dash of pride.

"You need to let Bella go." Rosalie said darkly. He smiled slightly.

"Well, since you asked so nicely… no." He spoke lightly, as if discussing the weather. Rosalie was quickly becoming infuriated. I sent waves of calm through the room, but they only seemed to deter her a little bit.

She growled, menacingly taking a step forward.

"You _will_ let her go, or I will kill you." The smile left his face and was replaced by a cocky sneer.

"I'd like to see you try, princess." He said condescendingly. Rose hissed.

"Hey, let's slow down…" I tried to interrupt. James regarded me with amusement and anger.

"You know, let's just skip the theatrics and get to the fighting. Here, I'll start." He was beside Rose in an instant. He punched her square in the jaw, sending her skidding to the floor, leaving dents in the polished wood. Before I could react, she catapulted back towards him.

He barely missed her attack, chuckling as he grabbed her again and smacked her into the door. I flinched when I heard her pain-filled cry. I leapt towards James, my military training allowing me to pin him to the marble countertop easily. His emotions were still wild- it was a kill or be killed situation. Survival comes first. I effortlessly tore off one arm, ignoring his shout.

"Get the matches!" I shouted to Rose, indicating the box I always kept in my back pocket. She quickly recovered and retrieved them for me. I gestured for her to stand back before I ripped off his other arm and two legs, snapping them off with a brutal efficiency. He keened loudly, desperation and agony in his red eyes. Without any fanfare, I bit the back of his neck, severing his head from his torso within a millisecond. As I piled the parts with quick precision, Rose lit a match. After exchanging a glance, she tossed the match onto him. Flames slowly but surely began to lick around him before overtaking him. The smell of dead flesh burning invaded my nostrils. It was only then that I allowed myself to think.

Just as I realized what we had done, the door burst open. There, framed in the flickering light of the flames, stood my wife, Emmett, and Bella. Alice and Emmett were surprised and afraid, but Bella's emotions struck me. Loss and devastation slammed into me like a train. I fell to my knees at the power of her feelings. She'd had feelings for this creature we had killed. That I had killed.

Echoing my movements, Bella fell to her knees, moaning his name. She glanced up, her eyes dilating wildly before curling up and closing her eyes. Alice shook her, alarmed.

"Bella? Bella!"

She didn't answer. I suddenly felt a jolt, as if a tie was severed. I shook my head, confused. I approached my wife and Emmett, Rose behind me.

"Alice." I said, trying to capture her attention. She continued to poke and prod Bella, demanding a response, "Alice!" I shouted. She looked at me, along with my siblings. I sighed shakily.

"I can't sense her emotions anymore. It's like… it's like she's gone."

_**Alice **_

Rosalie agreed to stay in the apartment until the flames died down. Emmett effortlessly picked up Bella's limp body as we quickly took the stairs. I was terrified- I had never seen a vampire in this condition before. And Jasper couldn't read her emotions? It was unheard of, except for when Edward couldn't read her thoughts. Even then, he'd never been able to- Jasper had, and now that ability was gone.

Jasper pulled the rental car around with a screech, and Emmett and I rushed in. He placed Bella gently across our laps in the backseat.

"What do we do?" Emmett asked, running a concerned hand through Bella's hair, "How do we fix this?"

I met Jasper's eyes in the mirror as he drove. He nodded, seemingly reading my thoughts. I turned to Emmett.

"Bring her to Carlisle." Emmett nodded gravely.

"Should we call them?" Jasper asked. I nodded my assent as I looked at Bella's face. She looked so peaceful, so empty.

"We have to." I said, "Let Carlisle explain it to Edward." I looked at Bella's closed eyes, wondering if she could hear me.

"We're going home."


	13. Chapter 13

_**Jasper**_

"She's so still." Rosalie muttered, petting Bella's hair softly, "Why is she so still?"

"I don't know, Rose." Alice seethed, "It may have something to do with the whole you-killing-her-boyfriend thing. You don't have to be psychic to see that." She smacked her magazine onto the seat and flounced into the adjoining cabin.

"I didn't- he forced-" Rose stuttered. I could feel the guilt rolling off of her.

"I'm the one who did it." I smiled wryly. Rose shook her head.

"Only to protect me. I made you come with me. I just… I didn't want to kill him. Well, that's a lie, but I wasn't planning on doing it then!" She sighed, returning to stroking Bella's head like she was a house cat. "I didn't think she'd care that much."

I shrugged, "Me neither." No point in telling her the extent of Bella's emotions before she had disappeared from my radar. I had never felt such agony. It made me worry over how we would get Bella back from this. The phone call to Carlisle hadn't been easy either.

"You killed James… and now you're bringing Bella back here?" His normally peaceful voice was almost shaking with anger.

"It was unavoidable. He would've killed Rose, Carlisle. I couldn't stand by and let that happen." I said, apprehensive as the car continued toward the airport.

"And now she's in a condition that you've never heard of?" He didn't sound any less enraged. I've never known my surrogate father to sound so upset.

"I can't sense her emotions anymore. She's still, not breathing. It's like she's catatonic."

"Aro must be familiar with her if she was at the ball. I'm going to call and see if he has any insight." Carlisle paused, "I'm very disappointed in all of you." He hung up. Emmett and Alice refused to meet my eyes, both feeling the shame and guilt that I felt.

"Alice is just worried." I attempted to explain to Rose, "And what we did was extremely reckless. She cares for Bella very deeply." Rose nodded, looking down at Bella again.

"When will Edward find out?" My brother asked from the window seat across from us. The small, private jet we had commissioned was currently sailing through white clouds, making the windows look as if they were engulfed in cotton.

"I don't know. We'll have to wait to hear back from Carlisle." I almost gulped. If Carlisle is this angry, how will Edward feel…

"Don't." Rosalie said sharply, following my train of thought, "Edward has no right to be upset. If not for us, she'd still be in Italy, brainwashed by that bastard. She'll get better and be part of our family, where she belongs." Her voice reflected her stubborn resolve, but I could feel the doubt she was trying to hide.

I excused myself before exiting the cabin door. I found my wife sitting on a soft bench, gazing out of another window.

"We should have been calmer. If I'd had more time to talk to her…" She said quietly, almost to herself. I placed my hands comfortingly on her shoulders. She looked up at me. She looked lost.

"What's done is done. We have to focus on helping Bella. We can't fall apart now, Alice." I murmured, reaching down to scoop her into my arms. She held me tightly.

"I'm scared." She breathed into my ear, "I don't know what's going to happen." Her voice quivered, and my heart broke for my wife. The one sense she relied on in times of trouble was useless.

"It will be alright." I said, allowing a pool of calm to surround us, "It has to be."

_**Carlisle**_

I dialed the familiar phone number, feeling a foreboding tremble in my normally steady hand. How could my children be so reckless? I was torn. Ecstatic that Bella was on her way here, but worried that she was damaged beyond repair.

"Carlisle." The voice purred, "How nice to hear from you."

"I hope you're doing well, Aro." I said, getting the formalities out of the way.

"Indeed. What is the reason for your call?"

"My son and daughter encountered an acquaintance of yours at the ball."

I heard Aro attempt to restrain a chuckle and I clenched my fingers in anger.

"Really? Well, describe this acquaintance.

"A pretty brunette named Bella, seen with a male named James." There was a tense pause, "Ring any bells?"

"Actually, now that you mention it…" He drifted off lazily, "Bella, Bella… hmm. Yes, I do recall a Bella being in attendance!"

My jaw twitched in anger, "Aro. I have asked if you have seen her for the past six years and you've always said you never met or heard of her or James."

"Did I?" He asked innocently, "Well, what a mistake. Yes, I'm familiar with Bella, she and James have been settled here for a while."

"You knew we were looking for her." My anger seeped into my tone.

He laughed softly, "There's more than one Isabella…"

"Don't toy with me, Aro. I have little patience for your games." I paced the confines of my office.

"Fine, old friend. Yes, I guessed she was the one you were looking for. But I have to admit, her power was just too fascinating to observe. I knew you'd find her eventually, of course."

"Power?" I asked, dread filling my stomach like lead, "What powers does she have?"

"Silly girl's not even aware of them. She has a shield, of sorts. Every time I've met her, I've had Jane attempt to affect her. Nothing. Now, when James is alone, Jane can hurt him. When James is with her, such as at the ball, he is covered by the shield as well. She unconsciously protects herself and those she wants to from other vampires' powers. Or that's my hypothesis, anyway." His excitement over Bella's power made me sick.

"That's all I need to know." I said stiffly. Aro chuckled again.

"Peace, old friend. Call me more often. I'm so curious regarding your family's many… talents." He said, greed dripping from his voice.

"Goodbye." I said curtly, cursing as I hung up the phone. How foolish I had been to trust Aro's word when he said he would notify me if anyone fitting Bella or James' description entered Volturi territory. I hadn't taken into account Aro's selfish greed for powers. He had probably been counting on convincing Bella to join the guard. I rubbed my temples, frustrated.

At least now I could guess what had happened. Bella literally retreated into herself, drawing her shield around her like a cloak. It also explained Alice's visions of Bella and James, which had become muddled and unclear only after Bella was changed. Bizarre, but oddly it made sense.

I sat down, wondering how to handle the situation. The jet carrying Bella and the rest of my family was due to land in an hour or so. Edward and Esme still had no idea what had happened.

The door to my office crashed open, wood splinters flying across the room. I turned, cursing inwardly. Edward had been out hunting. I thought he was still gone. He stood at the entrance to my office, heaving deep and ragged breaths. His eyes left no doubt that he had heard everything.

"Where. Is. She." He enunciated clearly, growling through every syllable.

_**Edward**_

I hadn't intended on coming back early from hunting, but it had turned out that way. After I had drained three deer, I felt fatigued. Esme had insisted that I go back without her. As I entered the door of the house, I heard Carlisle speaking. Not an unusual occurrence, but my ears perked at the topic of discussion. Did he have a lead?

My stomach clenched as I heard more, ascending the stairs. My siblings encountered Bella? Where was she? Aro knew about her? I hissed, wishing I had chosen to search Europe recently as opposed to the other continents I had scoured. Had they seen her while over helping Emmett and Rose?

I stood outside of the office door, where I could hear Aro's voice over the line as well as my father's. My heart dropped when I heard the description of Bella… with James. How could my father discuss this so calmly? If he had a clue about Bella, why hadn't he spoken to me?

His thoughts clued me in. Bella… on her way here… with my family? I felt indescribable rage choking on joy. How could he keep this from me? I raised a hand to knock on the door, and found it shattered as soon as I touched it.

"Where. Is. She." I choked out, struggling to control myself as I observed my father's surprised and stricken face. His thoughts were quicker than his voice.

_Edward, listen._

"How could you?" I growled menacingly, taking one step forward, "How could you do this? I should've been the first to know."

_We didn't want to scare her off. She was with him, living with him… they wanted to talk to her and convince her before you knew.__  
_  
I shook my head. "She would never be afraid of me." Carlisle's pained expression made me pause, a new ache entering my heart.

_She seemed happy, Edward. And then things went wrong…_

I quirked an impatient brow, and he continued,

_Alice and Emmett met with Bella to try to make her see sense. Rosalie decided to track James, to intimidate him into letting Bella go without a fight. Jasper went with her. It turned into a fight, and they killed him._

I let that knowledge sink in. So James was dead. I was only sorry that I hadn't had the chance to gut him myself. Carlisle's guarded face turned pitying as he went on, verbally this time.

"Edward, she didn't… she didn't take it very well. She's…" He drifted off, his thoughts trying to find the gentlest word to use. _Catatonic, catatonic, catatonic._ Carlisle's remembrance of Jasper's voice echoed in my mind. I flinched, imagining my love in such a state, "And now she's on her way back. In fact, we need to leave for the airport."

I nodded grimly, torn between what I wanted and what I knew to be true. I still loved Bella as much as I had that first night watching her mumble in her sleep; but did she still feel the same way? What had James made her do? Had she changed?

I would make her whole again. I motioned to Carlisle, saving my rebukes for later.

Everything would have to wait until I had Bella in my arms.

_**Bella**_

White, fluffy bits of cloud streamed next to me. The sun sparkled overhead. I paused, alarmed, and looked at my skin. It wasn't sparkling. I smiled slowly, flexing my fingers in the warm sun. I bent down into green grass. I sniffed the ground, savoring the earthy scent and the feel of the smooth blades between my fingers.

"Bella…" I heard him call softly. I looked up, disbelieving. His eyes sparkled. Blue, real blue. No contacts. He held a hand out to me. I smiled, taking it. He pulled me up as I drank him in with my eyes. His hair was dirty blond, just as I remembered it, only longer. He lifted a hand to my face. I leaned into the familiar caress.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, pulling me closer. I shrugged against his body, sniffing his comfortingly familiar scent. Sandalwood and a trace of leather. He sighed, holding me tighter, "You know you don't belong here, Bella. Not with me." I pulled back in protest, and he smiled sadly.

"You can't stay here forever."

I shook my head vehemently.

"I can." My voice was firm and resolute, "I like it here."

He laughed, "Still stubborn. You've got to go back, Bells. You need something that isn't here."

I scrunched my brow together, annoyed. "I have everything I need." He cocked his head to the side.

"No, you don't." He spun us slowly around, "Look." I squinted my eyes to follow his pointing fingers. A figure was pacing in the distance. Sparkling. My mouth closed as I saw a flash of bronze hair.

"No!" I shouted, burying my face into James' shoulder, "I won't. I can't."

"Why not?" He asked, rubbing my back slowly.

"I can't get hurt again." I murmured.

"You won't." I lifted my head to gaze at him again. I saw the figure in the distance wander a bit closer.

"What about you?" My voice trembled.

He smirked, amused. "I'm fine here."

"I want to be with you." I maintained, stubborn.

He smiled lightly, hiding his sadness. "No, you don't."

"I do!" I said, frowning as he disappeared from view. My fingers felt thin air where he had been. I started screaming, "I do! I do! I DO!"

"Bella!" A different voice, a softer voice answered me. I looked up in confusion and fear. The white clouds were turning red. The sun was going down at a rapid pace. I struggled as I felt invisible hands tug on my arms.

"Stop it! NO!" I shrieked, trying to fight them off. I closed my eyes tightly in terror.

"Bella! It's okay…" I opened my eyes. I stared up and saw the four eager vampires looking at me. Emmett's thick hands around my elbows. Alice was speaking to me, her mouth moving slowly. I groaned, trying to turn away.

"Don't let her! Bella, it's alright. We're going to Edward, he's coming." Rosalie's voice spoke softly in my ears. I groaned louder, dry sobs wracking my body. Emmett let go of my arms, alarmed. I ran to the other side of- what was this, a plane?- and collapsed, curling into a fetal position. I felt small, strong arms wrap around me. I hugged Alice back just as tightly, sobbing into her shoulder.

"He's gone…" I moaned, breathing hard. Alice gasped before I felt small tremors in her back. She was crying, too. Only our nature wouldn't let the tears fall.

"Edward isn't gone." I heard Emmett's puzzled voice whisper from behind me. He didn't get it. Jasper shushed him. I guess he got it.

"I'm sorry, Bella. We're sorry…" Alice whispered.

James is dead.

James is gone.

_And it's your fault,_ my mind taunted.

_**Edward**_

I waited anxiously by the runway. Carlisle waved a few bills at the silly humans who tried to sway me into waiting inside. I paced, watching the night sky. My thoughts hummed with her name.

_Bella Bella Bella Bella Bella Bella…_

Carlisle stood behind me, his thoughts withdrawn and concerned. I would deal with everything later. I just had to see her. Touch her. Make sure she was real.

As a small white plane appeared from the clouds, I sucked in a strained breath. It seemed to take forever to land, when it was really only a minute or two. I could hear my sibling's thoughts on the plane. I couldn't believe they didn't tell me about this. How they could not trust me with Bella's whereabouts. Me!

_Edward, give her space, she's… upset._ Rosalie warned as the plane hatch lowered to the ground.

_Please, bro, she just came back to reality. Don't make her get all weird again._ Emmett thought plaintively, looking at me as he descended the stairs first. I walked briskly towards him, Carlisle walking behind me.

Rosalie and Alice emerged then, Jasper on their heels. Both of my sister's supported her. Her eyes were wild. Light brown with a circle of red near the pupil. Her hair was long and luxurious, barely mussed in the disarray of the plane ride. My eyes roamed over her hungrily, taking in her dress and slip sandals. I reached out a hand as my eyes reached her face. She looked around, left to right, up and down, before they finally settled on me.

"Bella." I breathed, extending my hand to offer it. Alice winced and Rosalie hissed at my disregard for her warning. I ignored them, keeping my eyes on hers.

She held my gaze for a few seconds before whimpering. I started forward, alarmed by her painful noise. Rose held out a fierce hand as Bella turned her face into Rose's shoulder, hiding her face from me as the whimpering grew louder. Alice handed Bella completely over to Rose, who picked Bella up bridal style before striding past me. I turned, staring at them as they passed. Alice's face was grim.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't anticipate her reacting this way." She said, her thoughts apologizing for much more. I nodded, too overwhelmed and hurt by what had just happened. Yet I couldn't restrain a certain amount of joy- my unconscious hummed at the thought that she was mere yards away from me. But what was wrong?

"Reacting to-?" I cut off, looking at my brothers. They all averted their eyes, and Carlisle reached to place a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged him off, "To what?" I asked, persistent.

Jasper answered dully, "She's grieving, Edward. For him."

I stepped back, shock coursing through my body. "No, no… it's not possible."

Alice stepped forward, "Edward, she was with him for six years. You can't expect her to just-"

I shook my head, walking back towards the car.

"Edward, wait. Please! She just needs time."

"Like you know what she needs. Maybe we need a new see-er in the family." I said coldly. She stepped back into Jasper's arms as if I'd slapped her. He looked at me, fury in his face.

"I know this is a shock for you, Edward, but I will not tolerate that treatment of my wife. We're going home. You're going to let Bella feel what she feels, and be goddamn grateful that she's here at all." He led Alice past me, going to join Rosalie and Bella in the car. I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Edward, get in the car. Everything will work out." Carlisle murmured before walking with the rest of my family, waiting for me to follow. I started to walk forward instinctively, the emotions warring like mad inside my body.

_She's back. She's back, and she's here. She's safe.___

_But is she mine?_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Bella**_

Minutes turned into hours, hours to days. Before I knew it, it had been three months since the day James… died. A melancholy frown seemed to be permanently etched upon my face. The guilt that I felt didn't seem to lessen. I pushed everyone away. I could see that it hurt them. Especially Edward. He seemed to sense that I didn't want him near. It was a constant battle within me. I needed him… I'd always needed him. But my years away had deceived me of that. I thought I was alright, that I was functional. But the truth was that I always knew a part of me was missing.

I couldn't reconcile the amount of damage that I had done. If I hadn't let my petty jealousy and martyrdom take over, I would have never gone back to James. Edward and I would be happy, and James would still be thriving somewhere. Instead I seemed to have caused the maximum amount of destruction possible.

Edward didn't touch me, but he always watched me. Around the house, I was almost entirely quiet. He was, too. My siblings would try to engage me in conversation, but I almost never answered. It wasn't out of spite or fear… I just lacked the desire to convey anything. I felt so empty all of the time.

It wasn't as if I couldn't hear them. I heard their conversations, their whispers.

"_I can't stand it, Alice. It's constant guilt, pain, regret, shame." _

"_I know, Jazz. She'll get better. She has to." _

The most painful were the ones regarding Edward, or to Edward. His voice especially reverberated from anywhere in the house.

"_Edward, maybe you should talk to her. You're the only one that could possibly get through-" Esme began, timidly. _

"_She'll come to me when she's ready." _

He always sounded so sad, so… defeated. It made me feel even worse. I slowly got to my feet, craving nourishment. Hunting was the only thing that I smoothly adjusted to. Hunting animals came naturally and offered me single moments where I could focus my mind on the hunt, and nothing else. I went downstairs, not surprised to find that all talking ceased as soon as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

They were all seated in the family room, all looking up at me with various expressions. Esme concerned, Carlisle and Rosalie wary, Edward loving yet unbelievably sad, Emmett worried, Jasper flinching (my emotions were rarely kept in check) and Alice… hopeful? I cocked my head to the side slightly. It was rare for her to look anything but worried or depressed when I was around, regardless of how much she tried to be happy around me.

"Going hunting?" Carlisle asked carefully. I gave a curt nod as I headed to the door. Edward automatically moved to stand up. He still seemed to think that if I was left alone, I would disappear. It had taken weeks for the family to convince him that I could go hunting without supervision. I'm sure Alice's talents came in handy in that respect. Carlisle had been helping me learn to master my gift. I was at the point where I could physically extend or withdraw a field around me at will. When it was up, I would disappear from Alice's visions. I kept it down, though, mostly to keep Alice off my back.

"Yes." I answered, flinching at the rough sound of my voice. I spoke so infrequently that it was raspier than usual. Edward quickly sat down at a look (or a thought) from Alice. He looked at her, furrowing his brow. Shrugging, I walked through the door. I breathed in the air, savoring the earthy scents. It was twilight… still my favorite time of day.

I ran quicker than usual. I smelled a herd of deer about a mile ahead, so I took off into the trees. Arriving within what felt like a few moments, I quickly pounced. I efficiently drained four deer before reaching my fill. I paused, a trail of blood still trickling from the corner of my mouth. As the rest of the deer fled, I took in a deep breath as I realized where I was. The meadow. Our meadow.

I'd intentionally refrained from coming here, afraid and wary of the emotions that it would bring. I settled down on the grass, wiping my mouth and letting my other hand skim over the smooth strands of grass. Laying here reminded me how I was, who I used to be. How wonderful Edward had looked in my eyes. How desperate and unworthy I felt. The ecstasy that he inspired by just holding me in his arms.

The main source of my grief was the conflict between my lasting feelings for Edward, and my actions with James. And I had no way to make amends, seemingly with either. I was afraid to talk to Edward, and a conversation with James was obviously impossible. I suddenly remembered a lesson from one of Renee's many guru-inspired tapes that she kept around the house in Phoenix: to write a letter to someone who's gone, telling them everything you wanted to.

I laid down on the grass, comforted as I looked up to the clear, steadily darkening sky. Without pen and paper, I could only try to say what I wanted to tell James. It was worth a try.

"I…" I began, feeling silly, "I'm sorry about what happened. You didn't deserve it." I paused, a small smile tugging at my lips, "Or maybe you did. You always were so confrontational. Had to get what you want. I know they told me the truth, that you provoked them. I still don't know why. You were the best fighter I've ever seen. You had to know that you were outnumbered, that the odds were against you." Sadness clutched at my heart as I tried to picture what his final moments looked like.

"I do miss you. I miss your company, and… the distraction. I know that you loved me. I never doubted that. I know you know that I wanted to love you back." If I could cry, tears would have been pouring down my face. "You deserved to be loved. I don't care what they say. Sure, you were a monster. You killed unrepentantly. But somehow you found a part of yourself that was capable of love, and you wasted it on me." I sniffed, wiping at my face instinctively.

"I wanted to love you, but I see now why I couldn't. My heart was already spoken for. In some ways I think you knew it, too. Sometimes I get angry with you. If you really loved me, would you have let me leave Edward? Run from the Cullens? But there are different kinds of love, and I know you needed me near you." I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"I'm mostly sad because of all the things I never got to say to you. I forgave you for killing me and turning me. But I don't think I can forgive myself. I took the cowardly way out. I gave myself to you… my body, at least. I tried to pretend that I wasn't already broken." I tugged on the grass, frustrated, "I think they want me to regret it, and of course I do in some ways. But in others, you helped me find myself. You forced me to think about what it is I want."

I paused, glaring up at the sky again. "I can't take anything back, and it's useless to try. But I can't help from thinking of so many 'what if's.' I don't know what to do now. I love him. I always have, and I always will. But what have I done? He couldn't possibly want me the same way now. Every time I was with you, I was betraying him." I closed my eyes, "And it hurts. It makes me even more unworthy of him than when I was human." I laughed ruefully.

"I don't know what I'm going to do. I think I need to be on my own, away from them. I already hurt you. I don't want to ruin them, too." A small crackle caused me to open my eyes and jump to my feet within a millisecond. My mouth dropped open, shocked. I said the name I hadn't in so long.

"Edward."

_**Edward**_

My life was heaven and hell. Hell because I couldn't touch her or reach for her. Heaven because she was here. The past months had me doubting that any feelings she had for me remained at all. She avoided everyone, but especially me, at any cost. When she wasn't hunting she was locked away in her room.

When she came down the stairs, I instinctively drank her appearance in. She was still so heartbreakingly beautiful. When I heard she was going hunting, I moved to follow. It was still there, the deep and threatening fear that she may leave and never come back. Alice stopped me with a thought.

_Edward, wait a moment. Please. _

I frowned as I sat back down, trying to look into her mind. Besides that thought, she was blocking me out. She started to recite the preamble to the Constitution. I huffed angrily. She hadn't blocked me for years. What had changed now?

As soon as Bella breezed out of the door, I snapped my head towards Alice.

"What is it?" I asked, annoyed. I usually followed Bella from a distance, even when she thought she was hunting alone.

"Wait…." Alice said, a small smile on her face. She paused for another twenty seconds before beaming. "Okay, go. But stay out of her view, at least until she's killed the fourth deer." She shoved me out of the door before I had the chance to reply. I shrugged, moving to follow Bella's scent through the forest.

I almost ran into a tree when I realized where she was. Our meadow. Hope burst through my chest as I watched her drop the fourth carcass, looking around her. I stayed out of view, wanting to see what she'd do.

I didn't expect her to start talking.

What she said was both exhilarating and devastating. I knew she had grieved for James, but I didn't consider his feelings for her. Didn't want to. She obviously had a connection with him, and I felt a momentary stab of remorse for taking anyone away from her, even that bastard. I realized that he loved her, too. For a moment I didn't hate him. I couldn't really hate him anymore. How could I, when the same feelings he felt were the ones currently throbbing in my chest? Love for Bella.

My hope grew sky high as I heard her describe her love for me. _She still loves me_. I almost purred. I frowned when I heard her speak so poorly of herself. She couldn't possibly think we were better off without her? That I was better off without her? Lost in my thought, I accidentally brushed up against a tree, cracking a small branch beneath my foot. In a moment she was up and looking at me. Then she said my name. I stopped breathing. She said it like a prayer.

"Bella." I breathed out, taking a step towards her. She retreated a step, fear and something else in her eyes. I kept going forward.

"Bella." I repeated, "Please." I stood in front of her. She was shaking.

"I can't." She whispered, her voice wavering, "I can't hurt you anymore." I shook my head.

"Then don't leave. Stay. The past is the past, and I love you. Be with me." I spoke, extending a hand to her. She closed her eyes tightly, still shaking like a leaf. Following my instincts, I reached to take her in my arms. She stiffened for a moment before melting against me.

Feeling after feeling assaulted me as I held her tightly. Grief for the time we had lost, but mostly joy and peace that I was finally holding her. She gripped around my neck tightly, burying her face in my neck.

"I love you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" She whispered against my skin. I squeezed her tighter, looking up to the sky in thanks.

"No more apologies, Bella. On either side." She nodded, bringing her face next to mine. Her amber eyes shined as she slowly leaned forward. Before she could reach my lips, I closed the difference. I poured everything I had into the kiss. As my lips traced hers, my body sang with delight and content. I nipped at her bottom lip before the kiss turned more passionate. Our teeth clashed as she raised her legs to grip around my waist, our tongues battling for dominance. She let out a throaty groan before rubbing up against me. Once, twice… _Ah._ Every thrust of her tongue was accompanied by her legs and arms tightening around me. I lowered my hands to cup her ass as I unsteadily walked us up against a tree.

Pressing her against the rough bark, I never stopped kissing her. I ran my hands smoothly down her sides and back up, caressing her arms, stomach, breasts- anything I could touch. The skirt she was wearing rippled between us, and I suddenly saw all clothing as an obstacle. I ripped at her shirt, tearing it into pieces as I dug my fingers into her smooth lower back. She responded in kind, putting her hands in every place imaginable until every scrap of clothing had fluttered past to my feet.

We backed up from the tree, and I carried her to the ground. Still fused to my mouth, she immediately gripped my already throbbing cock. I hissed in pleasure but drew back from her. "Bella, love. Let's take it slow." She eyed me then, fear in her expression. I understood what she was thinking. That this would be my first time… and not hers.

_Oh._

Even though I'd guessed as much, hurt and jealousy still came, unbidden. I shook my head to get rid of them and she began to scramble away, muttering "I'm sorry…" I sighed before grabbing her ankle and jerking her back under me. Breathing heavily, she looked up at me, a question and longing in her eyes.

"Was that an apology, Bella?" I murmured, my previous hurt forgotten as I lowered myself onto her, propping myself up by my hands. I dipped my mouth and began licking a trail from her neck, ever so slowly down to her navel.

"Y-Yes." She stuttered, squirming under me.

"No more of those, didn't we say?" I said lowly against the soft skin of her stomach. She nodded, biting her lip as she threaded her fingers through my hair. I breathed in the heady scent of her arousal. I'd never wanted anything so much.

"Stop teasing, please. I need you. Now." She spoke, groaning near the end. I nodded, positioning myself by her glistening entrance.

"Bella…" I said, looking her in the eyes. She smiled softly at me before kissing me once more, bringing her hips up to meet mine until I was buried in her to the hilt. I gasped into her mouth as she moaned against me, running her fingers from my hair down my back. Warm, soft, wet. I tentatively drew back before pushing back in. She moaned her approval, urging me to go on.

As I found a rhythm, I could feel a slow burn began to tingle near my stomach. I breathed heavily, leaning to bite her affectionately on the ear. "Bella, I'm-"

"Me too. So close. Please…" She whispered harshly in my ear. I grit my teeth before I thrust in one last time. I bit her breast and growled as I reached my peak, blackness taking over my sight and my fingers and toes tingling. I could feel her tremble around my cock as she threw her head back, taking a deep rasping breath. I moved to lay next to her, reaching for her hand and entwining her fingers with mine. We both looked to the night sky, still breathing hard. She slowly moved to nestle against me, her head in the crook of my neck and with an arm and a leg thrown over my body. She closed her eyes, purring in contentment.

_She is home. She is back. She is mine, and I am hers._

The End.


End file.
